


Let's Do It (Let's Fall in Love)

by of_dream



Category: EXO (Band), SHINee, SuperM (Korea Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Best Friends, Childhood Friends, Friends to Lovers, M/M, and of course taemcasso would want to pursue a degree in art, because mr gucci ambassador is def a fashion nerd, clingy! taekai, jongin is a fashion major and taemin is a fine art major, or taekai being boyfriends even before theyre actually dating, other shinee/exo/sm members will appear/mentioned as their friends, sounds familiar no, this is just a hundred percent fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-08
Updated: 2020-01-15
Packaged: 2021-01-25 11:27:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 37,194
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21355504
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/of_dream/pseuds/of_dream
Summary: Jongin thinks it's fine like this - being best friends for the rest of their lives - and Jongin promises he will never ask for more as long as Taemin let him just to be there for him.But it's difficult with Taemin being so hauntingly beautiful, leaning into his touch as if Jongin is not the only one craving forthis, and all those longing he thought he'd make peace with resurface again without mercy.
Relationships: Kim Jongin | Kai/Lee Taemin
Comments: 54
Kudos: 145





	1. Someday My Prince Will Come

He’s one hundred percent sure that there should be four eggs left in the fridge. He just checked it last night before he went to bed, and yet somehow now that he wants to cook omelet for his breakfast, there’s not even one left.

Jongin closes his eyes and takes a deep breath - this has been an uneventful morning for him so far. First, he’s woken up by a string of messages from a group chat of his high school friends which he’s sure he’d muted forever but apparently he can’t permanently muted a group chat without checking every year or so. Nothing annoying in the messages, just silly memes and jokes but it had woken him up at an ungodly hour – 4 am in the morning because it was already lunchtime in Korea.

He was exhausted to the bone but his restlessness kicked in and he couldn’t sleep again afterwards so he spent it sketching on his drawing pad for a new design, but then the software decided to freeze after two hours of sketching and he lost everything because of course, he always forgets to save.

So now, he’s awake at 6 am and he’s so tired and hungry but he can’t even cook a proper breakfast because there’s no eggs even though it should be there. 

Unless the other resident of his apartment somehow decided to have a midnight snack and ate all four eggs. 

Which seems unlikely because Taemin cannot cook, at all. He cannot even make a boiled egg when it’s literally just two steps: put eggs in water and bring to boil.

_ ‘Is he even home?’ _ Jongin wonders. Because last night Jongin came back pretty late and Taemin wasn’t home yet. For the past few weeks, Taemin has been spending the night at the studio so he might be staying there last night too. Jongin then walks to check at Taemin’s room and the door is wide open. He looks inside and Taemin isn't there, but his backpack is there by the bed. Last night when Jongin checked, it wasn't there, so Taemin must have come home earlier.

_ Where are you? _ Jongin pulls out his phone and text him. Not even a minute after, his phone vibrates with an incoming call, and Taemin’s profile picture pops up on the screen of his phone. 

“_Jonginnie! You’re awake already,_” Taemin greets him on the phone, his voice sounds too cheerful for someone who is usually despised being woken up before 10 am.

“I am. What did you do with the eggs?”

“_Eh?_”

“Last night there were four eggs in the fridge. Now it’s all gone. Did you eat them all? How did you even eat them? You eat them raw?”

There’s a pause and then Taemin is laughing – like _ laughing out loud_. Jongin should be annoyed that Taemin doesn’t seem to treat his problem in a serious manner, but Taemin’s laugh always sounds so nice and Jongin likes it. It brightens his morning up a bit even though he’s still cranky that he couldn’t have his omelet.

“_Sorry! It wasn’t real eggs – it was a resin I made for a group project! Earlier Baekhyun came with me and he took it with him,_” Taemin says, his voice is still laced with laughter.

Okay, that is unexpected. Now Jongin also wants to laugh. But he’s too hungry to laugh and he remembers how some time ago Taemin also put a container of fake thumbs on the fridge and Jongin almost got a heart attack when he found it, so he got angry instead. “Then why did you put it on the fridge?!”

“_Because the egg tray is the only place that could hold its shape!_” Taemin answers and he’s still laughing. “_Why are you up this early? You’re so hungry that you wake up?_”

Jongin knows that technically it’s not because of that, but he wants to be sulking for a while if only just to guilt Taemin into being extra nice to him. “I am! And now there’s no egg to eat.”

“_Okay, okay, I’m just waiting for my coffee at Nero and will be back soon, do you want me to buy you something?_” Taemin asks – he’s stopped laughing but he still sounds amused.

“You know I hate coffee.”

“_Of course I know, and you know that Nero sells more than just coffee right,_” Taemin says and Jongin can imagine him rolling his eyes while saying it. _ “Or you want some subs? I can go there and buy you one._”

“Can you?” Jongin asks, with a nicer tone this time because to get to the nearest Subway, Taemin will have to do a little bit of detour before going back, “I want a tuna melt.”

Taemin seems to notice his change of tone because he’s snickering. “_With the usual?_” Taemin asks back, and Jongin can hear him muttering a ‘thank you’ to someone – he’s probably picking up his coffee.

“Yes. And don’t forget the cucumber! You always left it out,” Jongin reminds him, because even though Taemin hates cucumber with his life, Jongin likes to have it on his tuna melt.

“_Buy it yourself if you want it with cucumber,_” Taemin says, his voice is clearer now that he’s out from the coffee shop. 

“But it tastes different without cucumber!” Jongin whines, and he thinks it’s time to use his privilege, “It’s your fault that I got cranky in the morning so you have to make sacrifices.”

He can hear Taemin chuckles at the end of the line and he’s about to protest but before he can say anything, Taemin says, “_Okay, grumpy bear, don’t be mad anymore, okay?_”

He uses that _ really _ cute nickname that Jongin _ really _ likes, and he says it with a certain fondness in his voice that he seems to only use with Jongin – it never fails to make Jongin smiles, no matter how grumpy or annoyed he might be. He’s thankful that Taemin can’t see him right now because he cannot stop himself from smiling widely. He still has to pretend to be sulking. 

“It depends on how long it takes for you to come back,” Jongin says.

“_Aw, you miss me that much?_” Taemin teases him, and Jongin wants to deny but he does miss Taemin. They didn’t meet at all yesterday, and the day before that, and they didn't even see each other last weekend – it’s almost easy to forget that they live together because their schedule this semester is the worst.

But of course Jongin won’t admit that – it’s too honest and he doesn’t want Taemin to get any _ ideas_.

“I’m so hungry I might die!” Jongin says instead, knowing full well that Taemin would know he’s no longer angry when he’s being hyperbolic.

Taemin laughs again – and Jongin heart melts again. There’s silence after he finishes laughing –Jongin can’t even bring himself to protest at Taemin’s laughing because his heart is too full and warm and he’s just too _ happy_.

“_Okay, I’ll hang up now_,” Taemin says after a while, his voice still too cheerful for such a dark morning, “_Please don’t die yet and let me know if you need anything else_.”

Jongin can’t really hold his chuckle at that, “Thanks, Taemin,” he says as he ends the call. He looks at his phone and now it shows his home screen – the weather widget notifies him that it’s going to be sunny today and Jongin smiles, thinking that maybe this day won’t turn out to be a bad day after all. 

* * *

The first time Jongin met Taemin, he’s around 10 years old. His father’s investment firm had been steadily growing so his family had moved to a more upscale area in Seoul, and Taemin’s family is one of their neighbours in the area. They grew up practically together – Jongin’s Mom quickly became friends with Taemin’s Mom, and since Jongin’s Mom was also working, during the day Jongin would mostly spent his time in Taemin’s house. 

It didn’t take long before Jongin and Taemin also became the best of friends – they shared a lot of similar hobbies and interests including dancing and drawing. They went to the same school, their parents both enrolled them in dancing class and art class during the weekend, they also attended the same church – they were inseparable and spent their whole days together, except when Taemin had to take his piano lessons. Usually when Taemin’s piano teacher came, Jongin would spend his time with Taemin’s Mom. Taemin’s Mom would then let him watch her work, and at some point in middle school, he even started to officially assist her with her work. That continued well until high school, when they had to decide where to go for university.

Taemin’s Mom is a famous haute couture designer in Korea – their house also served as her workshop and growing up there had been the biggest influence on why Jongin became so infatuated with fashion that he chose to study to become a designer. Taemin is also a fashion nerd himself, but he has always wanted to work on contemporary art so when they decided on which university to go, they tried to find a school that has both an excellent fine arts and fashion programs.

Their families were both well-off enough to be able to send them to study abroad anywhere they wanted, but since Taemin’s older brother was already working in London, they decided to find a university nearby so that they’d have an easier time settling down. In the end they both applied to a famous art college in London – it was a long process involving months of intensive English courses and restless nights preparing for their portfolios, interviews and some other various requirements, but in the end they’re both accepted.

During the first few months, they stayed with Taemin’s brother while they tried to find their own place. At first, they were thinking to stay at one of the university accommodations, but the prospect of having to share common rooms with so many people didn’t sound too appealing so they decided to just rent a private apartment nearby their campus. 

The door clicks and it startles Jongin from his thoughts. He can see that Taemin finally arrives at their apartment, smiling brightly with a tumbler in one hand and a bag of subs in one hand – he looks so tiny and _ cute _ wearing Jongin’s oversized jumper that he must’ve left somewhere in the living room last night – all Jongin wants to do is squish him in a hug.

Which technically, he can do, but he feels a little bit shy after being such a brat on the phone call earlier so he just smiles back at him.

“You look awfully tired," Taemin comments as he put all the stuff he’s carrying on the kitchen island. “Are you okay?”

Jongin nods, “Yeah, I just didn’t get much sleep last night,” he says, taking his sub out from the bag – there’s a big scrawl of JONGIN on the wrapper. He sits on the stool on the island, and start munching his tuna melt - there’s cucumber on it. “Why were you out so early?”

“I fell asleep at the studio last night and only got back here around five, I think,” he answers, sipping from his tumbler, “Baekhyun came not long after to pick up some stuff for our group project, and since I badly need coffee and I ran out of beans, I just walked with him to the station.”

“Didn’t Krystal said she’d bought some for you?” Jongin asks, remembering how Krystal messaged them in their group chat several days ago if they want anything from her field trip in Hawaii and Taemin had requested coffee beans.

“Yeah she did, I just haven’t had the chance to meet her.”

“I have a class with her this morning,” Jongin says, “I’ll text her to bring them.”

“That’d be great,” Taemin says, smiling. “I slept in weird position last night and now I feel like my neck is killing me,” he adds as he moves to sits beside Jongin, taking his own sub from the bag. “I really should’ve stopped trying too hard for this project since it’s just for end of term assignment, but I couldn’t.”

Jongin smiles – he can understand Taemin’s frustration well because growing up with him, Taemin has been a perfectionist since day one. Jongin knows that he also shares the trait to some extent – after all they used to spend a lot of time together perfecting their dance routines or even a simple group project for school – but Taemin definitely had it worse. It has a lot to do with Taemin’s _ ridiculously _ high standards – for Taemin, if he wants to seriously devote his time and effort in doing something, he needs to be the best at it.

“So how was it? In the end you chose to make glass sculpture, right?” Jongin asks. He himself already submitted his spring term assignment few days ago - the assignment was to create a virtual fashion show for his own fashion line and even though the score wasn’t announced yet, Jongin is fairly confident that he _ aces _ it. His submitted fashion show has a theme of unconventional brides - it’s a showcase of wedding attires worn in rather unconventional ways - some of them are not in traditional colours, not traditionally modest, and some of them are even genderless. He spent a lot of research finding the right decorations, and had even learned to do basic sound arrangement and mixed his own mash-up of classical compositions for the background music. It has wowed Taemin when he showed it to him last week, so if it had pass Taemin’s critical eyes, it should do well with his professors.

“Yes! It’s been a while since the last time I’ve tried glass blowing, but it turned out really good,” Taemin answers excitedly, “Here, let me show you.”

Taemin takes out his phone and shows Jongin a video recording of his work. It shouldn’t be surprising to him anymore that whatever Taemin makes will be extraordinary, but still it takes Jongin’s breath away when he sees it. Taemin had created a hanging glass forest - he made at least forty individual pine tree sculptures with different sizes using clear glass that are hanging with thin metal wires from a metal base with scattered small lights. The white lights reflect beautifully on the trees, making it appears as if the trees themselves are emitting the lights and at the same time, it creates an eerily creepy shadows of the sculptures on the walls and floors - it’s so beautiful and intricate and so Taemin - Jongin really couldn’t imagine how difficult it was to make.

“That is the most gorgeous glass work I’ve ever seen,” Jongin says, smiling proudly at Taemin who is also beaming with pride. “And you shouldn’t be so modest by saying you’re making a glass sculpture - it’s an art installation!”

Taemin laughs at that. “Initially I only planned to make a smaller version of it, like three different sized trees with lights coming from below,” he explains, “but the lights and shadows coming from it doesn’t look as good as I imagined, so I figured, why not hanging them and let the lights come from above?”

“And once you got the trees hanging, you’re thinking, why not make more of them and just create a hanging forest?” Jongin adds, and Taemin laughs again.

“You know me so well!” he says. “Guess how many tree sculptures I made? At least a hundred! I think I broke more than half of it - working with glass is a nightmare.”

Jongin grimaces - he had tried glass blowing once in their art foundation class and it drove him crazy that he vowed to never ever made anything from glass ever again. 

“I shouldn’t try too hard because anyway, I know the earlier version would already give me a high score to pass this comfortably but I always have this itch to do more.” 

Jongin agrees, and sometimes Jongin also wants to tell Taemin to slow down and take more time to rest instead of always pushing himself too hard, but he knows that even though all these projects are exhausting him, in some way they are also making Taemin happy. 

So as usual, Jongin doesn’t say anything, but he does move closer to Taemin until their arms are touching, and Taemin responds by leaning his head on Jongin’s shoulder. It feels nice, like a weight that grounds Jongin whenever he feels unsure or just dead tired, and he hopes that his presence could also alleviate at least a little bit of Taemin’s exhaustion.

“So, do you have any free time tonight?” Jongin asks, his hand move to touch at the back of Taemin’s neck, “I’ve been craving some tteokbokki and I’m thinking of going to that place in Holloway.”

“The jazz pub?” Taemin visibly perks up. Jongin hums as he puts more pressure to the neck and start gently massaging it. 

“Yeah, I think I can go,” Taemin says with an appreciative sigh. “I don’t have class today anyway so I’ll just finish some commission stuff at the studio while waiting for you.”

“You want me to pick you up from there?” Jongin asks, moving his hand to just rest on Taemin’s lower back, urging him to start eating his sub. 

“Yes!” Taemin says, straightening up and grinning as he turns to face Jongin. “It’s been a while since your last visit and I always love to see the reaction whenever you come to our studio. These folks are still persistent with their theory that we are dating or something like that.”

Jongin laughs at that. Just like how most of the students in the Fashion Major knows Taemin, Jongin is also well-known amongst the Fine Arts Major. After all, it's not uncommon for Jongin to just hang out in the Art Studio whenever he’s not too occupied with his assignments, and the same also applied to Taemin. That might be the source of the dating speculation that always surrounds them – and maybe also the fact that they live together and all. But since it’s just useless and takes too much effort to deny the rumor, Jongin largely just ignores those. 

“Maybe I should bring you flowers? What do you want? Roses? Daisies?” Jongin teases him, and Taemin really just throws a piece of bacon from his sub at Jongin’s face.

“Don’t feed their weird imagination,” Taemin chides, but then he looks as if he just got a brilliant idea and Jongin kind of doesn’t like where it might go, “but actually you can bring me flowers and I’ll conveniently forget to bring it and left it near Key’s station so he’ll have to deal with the bugs that will definitely be there tomorrow.” 

“And be an accomplice in your crime?” Jongin grimaces. “No, thanks, I want to keep my record clear and besides, I like Key-hyung.”

“But you’ll give the flowers to me, not Key,” Taemin says, looking at Jongin with his puppy eyes which Jongin originally thought he’d stop using on him once they’re older but apparently he doesn’t. “Okay then, now I want the flowers for myself.” 

Jongin also thought that by now he’d be immune to those eyes but apparently, he’s not. He’s weak like that. “You don’t even like flowers,” Jongin says, “and in case it wasn’t clear, I was joking earlier.”

Taemin has the audacity to look betrayed. “You gave me hope and now you broke my heart.”

“You just threw a bacon at me when I told you I’d bring you flowers.” Jongin turns his attention back to his unfinished sub, feeling like a vein might pop from this unnecessary conversations but he still continues anyway, “Who broke whose heart now?”

“Bacon is one of my favourite things in the world!” Taemin protests. “If I’m throwing it at you, it means I’m showering you with my love!”

Jongin has to stop from munching – he loves Taemin more than anything but sometimes he wonders why. He decides to just ignore him and finishes his breakfast, but then he feels Taemin’s head leaning on his shoulder again.

“You’re going to smile, aren’t you?” Taemin teases him. “That was such a good pick-up line.”

“Shut up,” Jongin says curtly, but he cannot hide his smile. “And finish your sub before it gets soggy.”

* * *

“Meeting Taemin is really difficult! What kind of friend is he when he doesn’t even reply to my text,” Krystal protests at Jongin but still she gives him three packs of the coffee beans. Krystal is on the same Fashion Design program with Jongin even though they took different pathway – now they’re currently on their shared professional development class, waiting for their tutor to come.

“He probably just misplaces his phone again and then forgot to check it,” Jongin reasons. “If you miss him, you can always meet him in the Art Studio, he’s there most of the time.”

Krystal looks at Jongin as if he’s stupid and Jongin feels offended. “What?”

“You do realize that you are probably the only person that can meet him as you like, right? Even Jonghyun-oppa has to text him first before they can meet and Jonghyun-oppa is his other best friend.” 

Jongin frowns. “It’s true that Taemin isn’t the most sociable person and it’s difficult to meet him, but surely if you catch him in his studio you can just talk to him.”

“No, you can’t,” she slightly waves her hand and dismisses him and Jongin still wants to argue but he will still need her cooperation for their group project so he holds himself back. “Anyway, did you read last night’s email from the mailing list? Some of the alumnis invite us to join their charity gala tonight, you can go?”

“Really?” Jongin remarks, remembering that he hasn’t checked his email at all since yesterday afternoon. “But I can’t go, I already have plans tonight.” He opens his Macbook to check in case there’s more important emails that he missed. 

“Oooh, is it a friday night date?” Krystal teases him, and Jongin wants to roll his eyes but he decides against it. 

“I’m just going to the usual jazz pub with Taemin,” he answers, scrolling through his unopened emails. No important emails apparently, just some course questions from the juniors he’s tutoring which he can reply later.

“Just the two of you?” 

“Yeah, why? You want to join?”

“And watching you two flirt with each other? No thanks, I’m not a masochist.”

“We’re not flirting,” Jongin defends. “We’ve known each other since we’re kids so we’re just that comfortable with each other.”

“Yeah sure, I’ve also been friends with Jonghyun-oppa since we’re both kids but you don’t see me having dinner dates with him.” Jongin crooks an eyebrow at her and she revised her words, “Okay, we have dinner together all the time but it’s not dates because we don’t get so touchy with each other like you do.”

What she said actually makes sense, but she is still looking at him with that same I-pity-your-stupidity look and Jongin has to flick at her forehead because it’s getting annoying.

“That hurts!” Krystal smacks him on his arm, and Jongin is about to retaliate when the tutor arrives. He closed his Macbook and took out his notes, opening it to his latest entry. 

He cannot help but smile when he sees Taemin’s sketch at the bottom of the new page. It’s a doodle of a cartoonish version of Taemin holding up pom-poms like a cheerleader, with his scrawny handwriting in Korean beside it saying ‘Fighting, Jongin-ah!’. Taemin’s doodles are always so cute – it’s a stark contrast with the usual expressionism style he often uses in his painting. 

“You sure are as transparent as the glass door in the building entrance," Krystal whispers, leaning her face slightly closer to Jongin’s, “you know, the one that the janitor always clean so meticulously like, every two hours.”

Jongin frowns. “What does that even mean?”

“Nothing.” She straightened herself and looks at Jongin with an almost exasperated face. “It just means people around you knows more about you than what you think.”

* * *

Jongin remembers how he used to be intimidated whenever he came to the Fine Arts section in the campus. He used to think that the Fine Arts majors were the ‘pureblood’ creative genius who would sneer at other applied art programs – like fashion, for example – but that couldn’t be further from the truth. Some of the most interesting folks he’d met are from the Fine Arts, and their studio is really bright and warm and overall a really nice place to hang out. Jongin thinks he had spent more of his free time creating design or sketching in their studio instead of in his own Fashion studio or even the common library.

It’s already past six and Jongin has finished all his classes and meetings for today. He’ll still have to meet with Sehun and Krystal to finalize their group submission, but he can push it to Monday, or even Tuesday if he’s feeling lazy on Monday. After all, they had just finished a four hellish week full of assignments so everyone kind of earn the right to be lazy. 

Now he just wants to enjoy his Friday night, and hopefully the whole weekend. 

He stops in front of the Arts Studio – the door is slightly open and he can spot Taemin in his drawing station. He’s about to enter but then he notices how tired Taemin looks. It’s not that obvious but Jongin can notice it anyway – the slump on his shoulder, the way he’s gnawing at his lips worriedly, or how his mop of hair seems just a little bit unkempt. One of Taemin’s friends, Amber, spots him and looks like she’s about to greet him, but Jongin quickly lifts a finger to his mouth, signaling her to keep quiet. Amber nods, and Jongin discreetly slip back out of the studio.

He decides to go buy coffee from the Benugo truck on the square outside the campus. He remembers that Taemin likes their coffee – he doesn’t really remember what type but when he approaches the truck, the barista remembers him as ‘Taemin’s friend who doesn’t like coffee’. Jongin rolls his eyes and tells her that he wants to buy for Taemin but he doesn’t really remember which type he likes, and the barista just smiles and says ‘leave it to me’. In the end, she gave Jongin a burnt caramel macchiato, ‘because usually at the end of the day Taeminnie would want something slightly sweet’ and Jongin almost wants to scowl because of the familiar way the barista is addressing Taemin. 

It’s only when he’s entering the campus again he notices that there’s a message on the coffee cup. There’s a scrawl of ‘Have a good evening’ with a smiley followed by a name (Alice) with a heart. Jongin almost wants to throw out the coffee because how dare the barista flirts with Taemin by using the coffee that Jongin _ bought _for him, but then he realizes that he needs to prioritize getting the coffee as soon as possible to Taemin right now.

He passes by the Co-op and saw a bunch of flowers near the shop’s entrance. He smiles as he remembers their conversation this morning, and thinks that he’ll really buy one just to tease Taemin. He has no clue about flowers, but then he sees a really pretty bouquet of tulips in a blushing pink color. Deciding that the sweet colors would be the perfect one to make Taemin squirms, he buys them. 

When he arrives again in front of the Art Studio, the door is closed now. He tries to peek from the glass in the door, and he can see that Taemin seems to just randomly scribbling on his notes on one of the long tables with long benches. There are still quite a lot of students – including Amber – so Jongin just open the door as quiet as possible and goes straight to Taemin.

“You look like you’re about to collapse,” Jongin says as he sits beside Taemin, putting the paper cup right in front of him. Taemin looks startled for a little bit, but then he looks at the coffee and turns to face Jongin, and he gives him that smile that reaches to his eyes and is always too bright for the cloudy London sky. 

“My favourite person just arrives,” Taemin says, holding his cup of coffee close and smelling it. “You know what I usually order.”

“Of course I know,” Jongin smiles back at him, thinking in his mind that it’s perfectly fine for him to say that just as a petty revenge towards Alice. Taemin doesn’t even seem to notice the message on the cup as he starts to sip it, and the way his eyes are closing as if he’s really enjoying the coffee makes Jongin wonders how can Taemin really enjoys something that tastes like literal poison.

“Are you really bringing me flowers?” Taemin says, his eyebrows raised in question as he notices the bouquet that Jongin places on the table. Even Jongin temporarily forgets about it, but now that he remembers it, he grins and gives it to Taemin.

“It looks so pretty, doesn’t it?” Jongin says mischievously, and for a second Taemin looks perplexed before it quickly changed and Jongin can see an equally mischievous glint in his eyes.

“It does,” Taemin says sweetly while taking the bouquet and hugging it close, “you really have a good taste.”

Jongin didn’t really think anything when he bought the flowers aside from the fact that he thought it was a really cheesy color, but now when he sees how the soft pink blush color compliments the soft look that Taemin is currently sporting – he’s wearing a white oversized cotton shirt and his hair has been platinum blond for the past few months – he thinks he unconsciously made the best choice.

“Of course. Only the prettiest flowers for the prettiest boy,” he says, fully knowing that it’s such a cringey thing to say but he’ll endure it just for the sake of teasing Taemin.

Jongin can totally see the twitch on the corner of Taemin’s mouth – he’s definitely trying his best to stifle his laughter.

“Sometimes I don’t know why I put up with you at all,” Taemin says – his eyes twinkling and he’s still smiling.

“Because you love me?” Jongin offers, and Taemin laughs. Jongin pouts because he _ almost _ feels offended that Taemin just laughs outright at the suggestion even though Taemin should know what Jongin wants to hear.

And he will give it to Jongin, because if Jongin is weak to Taemin’s puppy eyes, Taemin is weak to Jongin’s pout.

“I think so,” Taemin finally says after he finishes laughing. He smiles fondly at him and Jongin can’t help but grins happily – he’s also really weak when Taemin gives him this particular smile – the one where his eyes are also sparkling with fondness as if he truly finds Jongin endearing and adorable.

There’s a few seconds of silence as Taemin puts on his coat and gathers his things into his backpack, and as Jongin waits for him he notices that most of the students are looking at them. Taemin was right – what Jongin just did would just feed more to the rumors but he really couldn’t care less. He cares more about the mischievous glimmers on Taemin’s eyes who always finds this situation amusing, the surprised look on his face whenever Jongin did something out of his expectation, and the fond smile on his face whenever he thinks that Jongin is doing something cute.

“Shall we go?” Taemin asks him, interrupting his train of thoughts. His backpack is slung over one side of his shoulders, and he’s still holding the flowers that Jongin gave him. There’s no trace of exhaustion left on his face – probably because he’d finished his coffee but seeing the warm smile on his face, Jongin knows that it’s also because of him.

It’s a wonder, he thinks, with how he’s so insecure with practically everything else in his life but never when it comes to Taemin. He’s always so sure with their relationship, their _friendship_, that Taemin loves him enough that he will never intentionally hurt him in any way or form. And it’s freeing, really, to have someone like that. Jongin knows he’s blessed with a lot of things in his life – he gets to study the thing he’s most passionate about in probably the best school for it in the world, he has a loving family that accept him as he is, he has fun and supportive friends – but still, for him, meeting Taemin is still the best thing that ever happened in his life.

So Jongin stands up and smiles as he holds out his hand, asking, “Do you want to hold hands?”

Taemin chuckles at that, muttering “that’s so cheesy”, but he’s taking Jongin’s hand in his anyway. He links their fingers together, instantly giving a nice warmth as Jongin pulls him closer.

It fits perfectly.

* * *

After half an hour of tube journey and a short walk, they finally arrives in the Jazz pub in Holloway. Jongin and Taemin are regulars in this place even though it’s not usually Jongin’s preferred scene – he’s okay with Jazz but he doesn’t really like hanging out in dark places like a pub or nightclub – he usually prefers bright lights in a cafe. But this place is actually really nice; it’s huge and has better lights than most pubs and the acoustic is good. It’s also a plus that the place is owned by a Korean family – they have good Soju and Korean food on their menu.

They’re seated in one of the tables near the stage – they’ve finished their dinners and is currently listening to the live performance from the in-house Jazz band. Taemin loves Jazz – when they used to attend dance classes Taemin has always been enraptured with Bob Fosse and his choreography. Jongin also remembers how Taemin always scoffed at the uptight classical pianists in his piano classes because he himself always leans more towards Jazz. 

Now that he thinks about it, it’s been a while since Jongin actually see Taemin plays the piano, and when he tells Taemin about it in between their shots of Soju, Taemin grins at him. 

“I should play a song for you now,” Taemin says, after the band leaves the stage. 

Jongin smiles and raises his eyebrows in amusement. “Do impress me.”

Taemin grins. “Well, it’s been a while so don’t expect too much.”

He calls one of the waiters and ask him if it’s okay for him to play the piano, and after getting the permission, he smiles to Jongin. “Watch me closely!” he says cheerfully, as if Jongin isn’t going to do exactly that. 

The pub is quite empty by now, and Jongin can see only a few other people beside them. He’s wondering if there are other people they know here, but before he can wonder more about it, Taemin is already up on the stage and getting ready to play. The stage is very close to where he’s sitting and from this distance, he can clearly see Taemin taking a deep breath and closing his eyes before he starts playing the first tunes. 

And Jongin instantly recognized it from a distant part of his memory. He’s playing ‘Someday my prince will come’.

It’s a song that Taemin plays often when they’re together. Jongin initially knew the song only from the old Disney version of Snow White, but the version that Taemin always play for him is the Jazz rendition, from Bill Evans Trio if Jongin remembers correctly. The first time he’s playing it was when they were fifteen, to cheer up Jongin who was just broken up with his first boyfriend – whose name now Jongin doesn’t even fully remember, was he a Park or a Kim? – Jongin remembers Taemin saying, ‘_ don’t worry, someday your prince will come’ _ and then invited Jongin to sit beside him on the piano bench as he played him this song. 

If only Taemin knew that the reason Jongin broke up with his then boyfriend was because he’s jealous of Taemin, because Jongin _ always _ put Taemin first. Jongin was too flabbergasted to even argue - of course he’d put Taemin first - Taemin is his best friend, the first person Jongin sought when he realized that he likes men, crying and afraid. Taemin had been there, supporting him, going out of his way researching gender and sexuality to assure Jongin that nothing is wrong with him. He had helped Jongin in fighting his anxiety, he’d been there holding Jongin’s hands under their dining table when he was coming out to his parents over dinner, trembling and scared. 

He was there for Jongin when he had his first heartbreak, and had always been there for all his other heartbreaks afterwards, which somehow never really bothered him as much as his first one. 

It’s ridiculous to even think that _ anyone _ will be more important to Jongin than Taemin.

Jongin smiles as he remembers the memory - he kinds of understand now why his first boyfriend was so jealous of Taemin. Anyone would be jealous of Taemin - he’s the literal personification of beauty. He’s gorgeous, with the unique androgyny that appeals to everyone regardless of their gender, and as he focuses back on Taemin’s performance, Jongin notices that even though he hasn’t played piano for a while, Taemin obviously still enjoys it – there’s pure glee in his eyes. He’s being playful – smiling the whole time and grinning every time he plays a surprising note that comes out of nowhere. It’s clear that Taemin is very confident and he knows that he’s in full control of what he’s doing, but interestingly, he doesn’t look cocky at all. He looks just like a person in love – happy, warm, and exciting.

It’s contagious. 

Jongin doesn’t really register everything else around him as he immerses himself back in Taemin’s performance, and by the time it ends, he finally let out a breath he doesn’t even realize he’s been holding.

That was beautiful. 

* * *

It’s almost one in the morning when they leave the pub – London at the end of March is still cold but it’s much more pleasant than usual. Taemin, who can never really stand cold weather even though ironically his favourite season is winter, is wrapped in a thick scarf that covers the lower part of his face. Jongin himself likes the fresh spring air - it’s still cold, especially compared to how spring was back in Seoul, but it’s a nice kind of cold and gives him excuses to ask for hugs and cuddles.

“So, are we going to use the tube or are we going to hail a cab?” Taemin asks. Jongin remembers Taemin drinking quite a lot and now he can see how he is actually quite drunk – his face is red and he’s not standing quite straight and surprisingly, he’s a little bit tipsy. Taemin usually has a surprisingly high tolerance for alcohol, but maybe tonight he had too many shots of Soju. Jongin himself isn’t really drunk – he probably only had half of what Taemin had, so technically, he’s more sober. 

“What do you think? I’m fine with either but if you’re tired, we can hail a cab. You drank quite a lot earlier,” Jongin says.

Taemin doesn’t answer right away – he smiles and stares at Jongin’s eyes for a while before turning his head up to the sky.

“Don’t you think the moon is so beautiful tonight?” he asks, and as Jongin also turns his head up to see it, he has to agree. It's a full moon, and the sky is so clear that it gives a nice dark blue backdrop for it. It’s a rare sight for London, where usually there’d be clouds hiding everything.

_ I think you are more beautiful_, Jongin thinks as he looks back at Taemin, and to his surprise, Taemin also looks back at him, his eyes widens.

Jongin didn’t just say it out loud, did he? He slightly panics and try to think of something smart to say, but then Taemin chuckles, and Jongin wants to hide himself because he really did say it out loud and he’s not even that drunk.

But well, it’s not news to Taemin that Jongin always thinks of him as beautiful – Jongin thinks he says it to Taemin at least once a week and it’s not flirting or anything, just him saying what he’s really thinking.

“It wasn’t supposed to be said out loud,” Jongin says, but Taemin just smiles at him.

“You didn’t say anything,” Taemin finally says after a while.

“Eh?”

“But you did look at me as if I’m more fascinating than the moon so yes, I kind of heard it,” Taemin says with a giggle, and Jongin just stares at him incredulously. 

Okay, Taemin is definitely drunk. There’s no way he just consciously giggling - especially not after such an absurd remark.

“So now you can read my mind?” Jongin asks to humour him, and Taemin smiles again at him.

“I can always read your mind. After all, no one knows you better than I do. I think I even know things about you that you don’t even know yourself.”

“Do you really?” Jongin asks again, this time while taking Taemin’s hand in his and start walking towards the main road. He figures it’s better to take the cab since it’s already this late. 

“Are you curious?” Taemin teases him, letting go of Jongin’s clutch only to cling at Jongin’s arm and pressing his body closer to Jongin’s side.

“Not really, it’s okay,” Jongin teases him back, “after all no one also knows you better than I do, so I think I also know things about you that you don’t even know yourself.”

“That’s true,” Taemin says, moving his hand to circle around the back of Jongin’s waist. He then leans his head on Jongin’s shoulder, and Jongin moves his hand to Taemin’s shoulder and pulling him even closer.

“Sometimes I wish we can be like this forever,” Taemin says after a while, a little bit wistfully.

“What do you mean?”

“We’re going to graduate soon and we might have to choose separate pathways,” Taemin explains. “You’ll definitely get snatched by gucci or something so you’ll have to move from here. Maybe I’ll also have to move somewhere.” 

Jongin is silent for a minute – those kind of thoughts are something that Jongin would usually have, but not Taemin. Maybe his best friend is still having the aftermath of the stress from how busy their spring term had been.

“We’ll be okay.” Jongin squeezes him closer and gave a light kiss to the top of his head. “I promise we’ll figure something out to make it works for both of us and we’ll be okay.”

Taemin doesn’t really say anything, but Jongin can feel how he’s subtly tightening his hold on Jongin’s waist, as if telling him that he trusts him.

“Say, you’ve finished all your assignments, right?” Jongin asks after a while, mentally going through his to-do-list to make sure he doesn’t have anything urgent he needs to do.

“Yeah, I did. Why?”

“Do you want to go for a short trip?” Jongin suggests, “We can go somewhere nice as a reward after our hard work these past few weeks.” 

“That’s a good idea!” Taemin answers excitedly, and Jongin is internally giving himself a pat on the back for the brilliant idea, “Let’s check what train we can get this morning!”

* * *

They end up booking the 06:33 train ticket to York and they have less than 4 hours to go back to their apartment, pack their things, and go to the station. 

By the time they arrive at their apartment, they divide the task – Jongin is tasked with packing both of their clothes and Taemin is packing other necessities like toiletries, emergency medicine, as well as booking for a place to stay. They finish everything by five, and Jongin has to applaud their teamwork even though he knows that both of them are operating on low level battery right now.

Jongin barely remembers the cab journey from their apartment to the station - they arrive with still forty minutes to spare so they swing by Nero, where Taemin fills his tumbler with coffee and Jongin fills his with hot chocolate. 

“Do you think we can sleep for like, two hours?” Taemin asks sleepily, his head is already leaning on Jongin’s shoulder. They’re lucky to be able to grab adjacent seats on the first class compartment since apparently it’s a very busy train – after all it’s Saturday so a lot of people who work or study in London would go back to their hometown for the weekend. It’s a compartment with four seats facing each other and a table separating them, but currently there’s no one sitting opposite them.

“I think so. The journey will take a little bit more than two hours,” Jongin answers, stretching his hand across Taemin’s shoulder so he can lean on him easier. “I’ll set an alarm for two hours from now.”

“Great,” Taemin says, snuggling closer to Jongin. “I’m soo tired after this hellish week but I’m so excited for this trip.”

“Me too,” Jongin says while moving his fingers to softly strokes Taemin’s hair. “Where is our accommodation again?”

“I forgot the name but I think it’s near the abbey,” Taemin answers, his voice is already slurring. “I’ll check again later but we got an ocean view room so it should be good.”

“That sounds great,” Jongin remarks, also feeling sleepy himself. He doesn’t say anything else and he can feel from the steady breathing that Taemin has already fallen asleep. He smiles to himself and he slowly closes his eyes, feeling that the sleepiness is also catching up to him.

He wakes up sometime later when he feels something knocking his foot - he opens his eyes to see a middle-aged lady and a toddler, maybe three years old, just settling down on the seat opposite him. 

“Ah, sorry.” Jongin straightens himself - his long legs were on the way and he also pulled Taemin’s legs to make sure that it doesn’t go to other way. Taemin doesn’t even wake up - he just stirs a little bit and snuggles closer to Jongin’s chest. He looks up to the lady, giving her an apologetic smile, but the lady just shakes her head.

“No, we’re sorry for waking you up,” she says kindly, with a smile. “Are you going to York?”

“Ah, yes,” Jongin answers - initially he wants to stop at that and continue sleeping but the lady seems nice so he elaborates, “we’re going to take a bus from there to Whitby. And you?”

“I’m taking my son here to York to visit my parents,” she answers, “and wow, it’s been a long time since I last visited Whitby but it’s really a nice place. Is this your first time?”

“Yes,” Jongin smiles as he answers, “we’ve planned to go there before but we ended up staying in York because we just fell in love with the city and didn’t want to leave so soon.”

“This time you shouldn’t miss it,” the lady says. “It’s also a very romantic city so you’ll have a good time with your boyfriend. I hope it doesn’t rain,” she adds with a smile.

Jongin chuckles at that - initially he’s a bit wary if the lady would be uncomfortable with their closeness, especially since she’s with a little boy, but he’s relieved that it’s not the case. They continue talking for a while until the train stops at the last station before York, and the lady takes his son to the restroom. Jongin decides that it’s time to wake Taemin up - he strokes Taemin’s hair again and whispers to him to get up.

After a few attempts, Taemin finally stirs awake - he slowly opens his eyes and straightens himself before turning to face Jongin. Even with his eyes still unfocused and his hair unkempt, Taemin is still looking unfairly beautiful. “Where are we?” he asks, his voice is still a little bit raspy.

“We’re at Doncaster - it’s the last station before we arrive at York,” Jongin answers, reaching out his hand to help tidying up Taemin’s stray hairs, “and we have someone sitting opposite us.”

“Ah, okay.” Taemin says, “I didn’t snore, did I?”

Jongin laughs. “No, you didn’t. I would’ve wake you up if you did.”

Taemin looks at him with suspicion and Jongin is about to protest but then the train stops. Apparently they already arrive in York, so Jongin stands up and reach to the compartment above them to take his duffle bag and Taemin’s backpack. Taemin is handing him his coat and he wears it before slinging the bag to his shoulder. He’s fastening his coat when the lady and his son comes back, and Jongin bids them farewell while Taemin just smiles at them.

“Don’t tell me you didn’t sleep and just chatted with the lady,” Taemin comments once they’re out of the station, looking for the bus transfer to Whitby. 

“I slept for a bit before Newark, I think,” Jongin says, spotting the bus. “She’s a nice lady so I felt bad if I just sleep.”

Taemin just slightly shakes his head. “You’re too kind, as always,” he says. “You should sleep in the bus.”

Jongin chuckles at that. He doesn’t tell Taemin that it’s not him being too kind, he was just too happy when the lady simply thought that they’re boyfriends without any judgement or prejudice - it warmed his heart that he just couldn’t help but being nice to her. 

Once they’re seated on the bus though, Jongin leans his head on Taemin’s shoulder this time. It feels nice, especially when Taemin pulls him closer and gives space so that Jongin can snuggle to his neck. Taemin smells nice, like sweet pear and fresh flowers, and his fingers feels nice on his hair that in less than a minute, Jongin is asleep.

* * *

Jongin slept the whole bus journey, and when he opens his eyes again, it’s to Taemin’s gentle voice telling him that they’ve arrived. Jongin rubs at his eyes, trying to let go of any remnant of sleepiness - he slept for at least three hours because when he checks at his watch, it’s noon already. He’d slept at Taemin’s chest the whole time, very similar to how Taemin slept during their earlier train journey. He straightens himself and looks at Taemin, who looks well rested as he stands up and wears his jacket. Jongin also stands up, reaching for their belongings at the above compartment. 

Once they get off the bus, Jongin can already feel the fresh ocean breeze greeting them. From a distance, he can see the brick houses lining up the banks and scattered old buildings perching atop the hills. It’s so beautiful that he can feel his heart races from excitement, and then he turns to look at Taemin, who is now clutching at Jongin’s arm while his eyes sparkling with joy as he’s staring at the scenery. Jongin’s heart stops for a second - Taemin can never hide it when he’s feeling wondrous and the way his eyes are shining really makes Jongin thinks that he will give anything and the world for Taemin.

As long as he can always have that look on his face.

“It’s beautiful, no?” Jongin asks, and Taemin beams as he turns to face Jongin.

“Yes, it’s even more beautiful than I imagined,” Taemin says, “I can’t wait to explore this city.”

Jongin smiles back, somehow still feeling a bit sluggish. Taemin lets go of his clutch on Jongin’s arm but before he can move any further, Jongin reaches out to hold his hand. 

“It’s cold, don’t go too far away from me,” Jongin says, pouting, and Taemin just chuckles.

“Just say it if you want to hold my hand,” Taemin teases him, but still he links his fingers with Jongin’s and pressing his body closer to Jongin’s side. Jongin grins and squeezes their hands, pulling him as they start walking.

They decide to go to their accommodation first before doing anything else - it’s a family-run inn near the abbey so it’s quite a walk (and a hike) from the bus stop. Taemin handles everything on the front desk while Jongin is so tired he could barely register what the receptionist is saying. They’re lucky that the room is already available so they can get early check-in, and another staff comes to guide them to their room, climbing up the stairs to the second floor before they finally arrive. Once they got inside the room and the staff left them, Jongin just throw himself right to the huge king-sized bed.

“Jongin-ah, don’t sleep!” Taemin chides him, but he also sat down on the bed, slightly leaning back with his hands supporting him on the back. He looks down at Jongin, who’s staring at Taemin in wonders because how can he be so energetic when Jongin feels like he’s about to pass out?

“You need more exercise,” Taemin adds, smiling, while gently ruffling Jongin’s hair and it feels so nice Jongin doesn’t want it to ever stop.

“I just feel sleepy,” Jongin argues, holding Taemin’s hand in his hair, urging him to continue stroking him. He’s closing his eyes when he can feel Taemin’s fingers on his hair again, but it only lasts for a few seconds before it stops.

“You sleepy bear.” Taemin flicks his finger at Jongin’s forehead before straightening himself and stands up. Jongin pouts again, but before he can even react, Taemin is already taking both of his hands and pulls him up away from the bed. Jongin slumps against Taemin as soon as he stands up, but Taemin holds him firmly. His hands move to Jongin’s waist and squeezed him tightly, and Jongin almost yelps but he manages to stand up straight. Taemin then moves back a little bit, his hands still wrapped around Jongin’s waist as he looks up at Jongin. He smiles, and Jongin can feel one of his hands move to his cheek and Jongin unconsciously leans towards it but then Taemin just pinched his cheek, hard. 

“Taemin! That hurts!” Jongin protests, and Taemin just laughs. 

“Sorry, but it wakes you up, right?” he grins, and yet he still gently rubs at the spot he just pinched him and it feels so nice that Jongin can’t find it in himself to protest anymore. “Let’s find something to eat and I promise you’ll be less sleepy.”

“What are we going to eat?” Jongin asks as he lets Taemin pulls him away towards the door. He pats at his jeans pockets, making sure that he got his wallet and phone with him before leaving the room. 

“The receptionist told me that there’s a good sandwich place nearby. He also told me to wander around the city first and go to the abbey near sunset time to get the best view,” Taemin explains as he leads the way out of the inn. Jongin quietly follows him, and he suddenly remembers how this trip is very different, and yet also similar with their previous one to York. Back then, Jongin was the one who had to drag Taemin around the city while the latter seemed like he’d much prefer to stay at the hotel and sleep. He smiles to himself, thinking that maybe all the fuss that people had been saying about how they’re really similar with each other is true. After all, they’ve been best friends for more than ten years now so it’s inevitable that their habits and mannerisms would rub on each other.

Shops and restaurants lined up the small streets nearby their inn, and Jongin couldn’t help but getting hungry himself. They passed by several tea rooms already, and the calming scent of herbal tea calms his senses. They also passed by a lot of vintage jewellery shops, and each time Taemin would stop for a while to look at each one on the displays. Jongin has to pull him away when he seems to be fascinated with a cross pendants that costs almost five hundred pounds and like hell Jongin would let him buy something that expensive in such a shady place.

They walk further down the street and turns to a small alley before Taemin found the sandwich place. It’s quite small but it looks homey - it’s actually another tea room and it’s decorated with vintage furnishings and lots of flowers. As they enter the place, a waiter approach them and point them to the only empty table in the room, located in the corner near the window. Jongin look at the menu and quickly decided that he wants a brie and ham sandwich, while Taemin orders an avocado toast. 

“I thought you’ve had enough of avocado toast?” Jongin asks once the waiter had taken their orders, remembering how it used to be Taemin’s go to dish a year ago before he got sick of it.

“The receptionist told me that it’s their signature dish,” Taemin answers, his eyes sparkling with excitement, “they served it with truffles!”

“Just when did you have all this conversation with the receptionist?” Jongin frowns, “You only spoke to him during the check-in, right?”

Taemin doesn’t answer right away as he looks at Jongin with amusement written all over his face. Jongin raises his eyebrows, urging Taemin to answer, and Taemin just smiles at him.

“You’re really cute when you’re sleepy,” he comments instead. “You really didn’t hear anything he said, no? Not even when he’s giving us tips for romantic spots in the city?”

“He what??” Jongin wants to confirm what he had just heard, but at the same time, the waiter came with their drinks order - Earl Grey tea for Taemin and Daarjeling for Jongin. They thanked her as they receive their drinks, and Jongin gently blows at his tea before sipping it.

Taemin still looks at him with the same amused smile. “I guess since we only booked one room, he’d assumed we’re boyfriends. He even told me that the walls are pretty thick so we don’t have to worry about being loud.”

Jongin chokes on his tea and he looks up at Taemin disbelievingly, but Taemin just laughs.

“I’m kidding,” he says in between his laughs, “you should’ve seen the horror on your face.”

“God, Taemin!” Jongin reached out to pinch his arm and Taemin yelps, “The tea is hot!”

“Hahaha I’m sorry,” Taemin says as he smiles again, a little bit more solemn this time, “but he did gave us recommendations for romantic spots though, so if you’re up for it, we can live out all those romantic scenes in those cheesy movies you like to watch.”

“Shut up,” Jongin pouts because now Taemin is just teasing him. But Taemin still smiles and looks at him fondly, and Jongin wonders if Taemin really looks at him like that more often now or if it's just his imagination.

Taemin then explains to him all the ‘romantic’ spots the receptionist said - they were just the must-visit tourist spots so either way, they will visit them anyway. Taemin also shares how the receptionist was actually ogling at Jongin but he was too sleepy to notice it.

Jongin pouts again, and he's about to ask Taemin to stop teasing him when their orders finally arrive. They start eating their sandwiches in silence - and without Taemin's voice distracting him, Jongin cannot help his mind from wandering. 

Jongin feels like Taemin teases him more often now, and even though Jongin had always been very affectionate with Taemin since day one, he feels like lately, Taemin started to reciprocate more. He starts calling him pet names - grumpy bear, sleepy bear, anything _ bear _ related - and also initiates physical touches more. 

It's as if Taemin is _ flirting _ with him, and Jongin doesn't know what to do because it sends him back to his fifteen-year old self - hopelessly crushing on his _ straight _ best friend. 

And Jongin really doesn't want to get back to that time because he doesn't know if he can survive another heartbreak if he misunderstood everything and Taemin is just being extra nice and cuddly because it's been a while since they actually got to spend a whole weekend together and he's been missing Jongin. _ As best friend _.

Granted that after he’s starting to discover himself more apparently Taemin isn’t as straight as he initially thought - Jongin will forever be salty over the fact that Taemin realize he likes men too _ only _ after he went out on _ one _ date with Minho - but still doesn’t mean that Taemin thinks of Jongin as someone more than just a best friend. 

So he swallows his thoughts and looks up at Taemin, who is cutting up his toast in small pieces, his mouth pouting in concentration and his brows furrowed - Taemin always looks cute when he's eating. Jongin cannot help but smile in amusement but he's startled when Taemin looks up, probably noticing that he's being stared at. 

"You're still eating your toast like that," Jongin comments before Taemin found it strange that Jongin was staring at him, "cutting them all first before eating them." 

Taemin cocks his head _ cutely _ and seems to be thinking for a while before answering, "I guess I'm so used to having Mom or brother cutting it up for me when I was a kid so I couldn't eat it any other way." 

"You used to be so spoiled." 

"It's because people like spoiling me even without me asking," Taemin says with a grin, and his voice tilted a bit in a wistful tone. "You were also spoiling me a lot, in case you didn't realize it."

Jongin couldn't help but smile at that - he remembers how he used to call Taemin every morning to wake him up for school, letting Taemin slept some more on his shoulder as they ride the metro to their school, dragging him out for lunch every day even though they were in different classes because Taemin always have this insecurity with gaining weight - and he realizes how they were really inseparable back then. "I did spoil you, no? You wouldn't survive high school without me taking care of you everyday."

Taemin scoffs but still he smiles fondly at Jongin. "I wouldn't, really. You're like the only reason I could even come this far."

Jongin smiles, and he reaches out to ruffles Taemin’s hair. “You can be cute sometimes.”

“Don’t ruin my hair,” Taemin protests, swatting Jongin’s hand away but he’s still smiling and Jongin couldn’t help but feel like his heart is about to burst from how much he finds Taemin adorable and cute. He thinks, maybe it’s fine if they can be like this, being best friends for the rest of their lives, and Jongin promises he will never ask for more as long as Taemin let him just to be there for him.

* * *

Or so he thought, Jongin muses, as he walks along the beach, listening to Taemin telling him a story about his newest group art project with Baekhyun and another Korean student named Taeyong. It’s windy and Taemin is pressed closely to Jongin’s side, both of his hands are hiding inside the pocket of his favourite black shearling leather jacket. Jongin has his arm loosely around Taemin’s shoulder, something that became almost automatically for him whenever they walk side by side. It should be ordinary, them walking closely like this, but somehow this time Jongin feels different. Maybe it’s because of the place - Whitby is such a picturesque city that everywhere Jongin looks it feels as if they’re inside a storybook and Jongin has this wistful thinking of a romantic happy ending. 

Taemin stops walking when he spots a row of colorful huts lining up the beach, stopping Jongin from his thoughts as he left Jongin’s side to inspect the huts. Jongin takes out his phone and open the camera app - the scenery in front of him is so pretty and when he sees Taemin on his screen, smiling brightly towards him and posing with a peace sign, his fingers are slightly trembling as he touches the shutter button. 

Taemin is beautiful, has always been so, but today, with his favourite striped turtleneck peeking underneath the big leather jacket, his long legs hugged tightly by his black skinny jeans, his platinum blonde hair softly tousled by the wind and loosely framing his face - his cheeks flushing from the cold and his eyes sparkling with delight - Jongin can feel how his breath is caught in his throat. _ It’s so unfair _, he thinks - Jongin has spent what feels like the entirety of his life trying his best to bury whatever it is that he feels for Taemin, trying hard to make sure that he doesn’t do anything stupid that might ruin their friendship, and yet it only takes a trip to a motherfucking scenic seaside village and all those feelings he thought he’d loss resurfaces again in full force, without mercy. 

“Is it good?” Taemin asks, and Jongin nods, smiling, offering Taemin his phone to let him see for himself. 

“Your pictures are always good,” Taemin comments cheerfully as he looks at Jongin’s phone, “and I always look my best in your pictures.”

“I know your best angles,” Jongin says, ruffling at Taemin’s hair again because it just looks so soft and Jongin is currently very weak to any temptations. Taemin doesn’t protest this time, and is instead closing his eyes as if enjoying the attention. Jongin can almost hear the thundering beat on his chest but still he moves slowly from Taemin’s hair to lightly touch his ear and his breath hitch when he could feel how Taemin is leaning into his touch. He stops just above the hem of Taemin’s turtleneck, cupping the side of his jaw and Taemin really is just leaning into his hands while still closing his eyes and smiling so peacefully. 

Jongin’s mind is in disarray - he doesn’t have any idea on how he should process, if he should just go with it and kiss Taemin. Deep inside he knows that whatever he ends up doing, Taemin won’t ever hurt him - even if he doesn’t feel the same way that Jongin does, he trusts that Taemin would never leave him and will help him find a solution that works for them both. He knows that all he needs is just to talk everything out instead of just suppressing his feelings all this time. Still, he can’t help but admitting how all this time he’s still clinging to that tiny bit of hope that Taemin might return his feelings _ someday _ that he never find the courage to face it if Taemin really does reject his feelings.

But like this, with Taemin leaning into his touch as if Jongin is not the only one craving for _ this _, Jongin is helpless. He almost doesn’t want to believe it, because it’s much too good to be true, but when Taemin opens his eyes, he’s pouting a little before pulling away from Jongin and his touch. He narrows his eyes and pursing his lips, a gesture that Jongin has always been associating with Taemin-speak for ‘I expect you to do something but you didn’t’. And just like that, he turns around and walks away, leaving Jongin rooted in his spot.

And Jongin doesn’t really know what’s gotten into him, but before Taemin could move further, he takes his hand and pulls him in for a hug. Jongin doesn’t even have the time to think, whether he’s doing the right thing or not, because Taemin just circles his hands around Jongin’s waist and rest his head on Jongin’s shoulder. 

And it feels right.

He can even feel Taemin’s heartbeat reverberating in his own chest and it gives him relief that he’s not the only one nervous about this whole thing.

“I like your hugs,” Taemin says after a while. “It makes me calm.”

“Yeah,” Jongin says, “I like hugging you too.”

Taemin hums and they slowly let go of each other. Before Taemin can move back any further though, Jongin holds the back of his head. Taemin is looking up at him, eyes shining and his cheeks flushed as he says, “Please tell me this is when you’re going to kiss me.” 

Just like that, Jongin can feel how his breath is leaving only to come back and fills his lungs with light and the invisible weight that had been weighing on his shoulder just evaporates.

Jongin grins, and as soon as Taemin is closing his eyes, he touches Taemin’s hair and moves them away from his forehead, before planting a kiss there. He lets his lips linger for a few seconds before pulling away. It feels great – it might be the first time in his life that he’s ever kissed someone on their forehead, and he can’t believe that it feels even nicer than lots of kisses he’s ever had.

No, this is definitely better than any kisses he’s ever had.

Taemin slowly opens his eyes, and the way he looks up at Jongin doesn’t help calming his nerves because it is filled with expectations and promises – like he’s asking Jongin to give him everything and in return he’d do anything for Jongin. And Taemin might not be doing it on purpose but it’s still messing with Jongin’s brain because how can someone looks so innocent and yet tempting him at the same time?

“Not the kiss I was expecting,” Taemin says, softly pushing Jongin away from him. He tries to put up a pout and a disappointed expression but he cannot really hide the delight in his eyes and the upturned corner of his lips.

“You told me I can live out every cheesy romantic scenarios I have in my mind,” Jongin smiles and holds out his hand, “so you’ll have to endure it.”

Taemin chuckles at that, muttering “whatever”, but he’s taking Jongin’s hand in his anyway. He links their fingers together as they start walking, and Jongin almost cannot believe how it’s possible to be this happy that he truly believes if he tries, he can really touch the clouds. All those years of hesitations and doubts and heartbreaks don’t even matter anymore.

It’s so easy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i've been planning to write this for over a year and then life got in the way but this superm thing is surely spoiling us with all those jongin and taemin cute interactions (they're soulmates i swear) and even with life still getting on my way right now i just couldn't help from indulging myself ;;
> 
> do let me know if you have any comments! i have chapter 2 planned already and it should be from taemin's perspective this time but let's see if i'm finally confident enough to write him XD
> 
> added 11/11:
> 
> i forgot to add the credits! silly me ;;
> 
> (1) story title: Let's Do It (Let's Fall in Love) - is a fantastic song from 1928 musical 'Paris' - it's so sweet and silly and reminds me a lot of taekai *cries*  
(2) chapter title: Someday My Prince Will Come - as you all may know is from Disney's 1937 Snow White. The version that Taemin played in the jazz bar is the jazz arrangement by Bill Evans Trio  
(3) jongin's virtual fashion show is a reference to Comme des Garcons A/W 2005 show "Broken Bride"  
(4) taemin's glass sculpture is inspired by an actual glass sculpture made by the amazing Simone Crestani. you can see it here https://www.demilked.com/magazine/wp-content/uploads/2015/02/awesome-italian-glass-blowing-sculptures-simone-crestani-14.jpg


	2. I’ve Got A Crush on You (Sweetie Pie)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Falling in love with Jongin is so easy. 
> 
> When Taemin was hit with the realization that what he’d been feeling towards Jongin all this time was not something that people would normally feel towards their best friend - people aren’t supposed to want to kiss their best friend, right? - he wasn’t really surprised. It was just more like an experience of finally understanding why the firm way Jongin holds his hand has always made him feel safe, how every time his handsome face lighting up to a smile it’s always make him happy, how whenever he’s sad and tired all he’d ever wanted to do was just to bury himself in his embrace and nothing else. 
> 
> He’s really falling in love with his best friend, and it’s the best thing that ever happened in his life.

Taemin never really liked to label himself - he’s never really that enthusiastic into dating and romance in the first place. So when Minho had asked him out on a date, he’s a little bit surprised that Minho thought he’s interested in men in the first place. But even Taemin can appreciate the fact that Minho is very attractive, and so far he's always been a pleasant company, so he didn’t think too much of it and had agreed.

His heart skipped a beat when he first saw Minho waiting for him in front of his building - Minho looked very dashing and Taemin had to take a breath and remind himself that it was Minho, one of his close friends and it’s not the first time they went out together. 

Even though it’s the first time that before meeting him, Taemin had really chosen his outfit and not just wearing anything he saw first, which had made Jongin raised his eyebrows in confusion when Taemin had barged into his room to borrow a scarf. ‘You’re just going out with Minho-hyung, right?’, Jongin had asked, and Taemin had said that it’s different because it’s a date. Jongin had looked confused again, asking, ‘Why? You don’t even like men.’ and Taemin had shrugged, saying that it doesn’t matter, it’s just for a day but he has to be respectful to his date and present himself nicely.

They had lunch at a Georgian restaurant in Islington. It was the first time he ever tried Georgian food and he loved it - he took some pictures and sent it to Jongin, telling him that Jongin would love it very much and they should come together later, which Jongin replied with a crying emoji and a complaint about how lucky he is to be eating nice food with a handsome company like Minho and to please tell Minho to ask Jongin out next time. Taemin had chuckled, and when Minho asked him what had happened, he told him that he was messaging Jongin and he was envious of their date and Jongin would like Minho to ask him out next time, and Minho just laugh. “He doesn’t really want me to ask him out,” Minho said, “If he does, I would have tried to because he’s very much my type.” 

And so Taemin asked, “Why didn’t you just try asking him out then? I mean you can never know.”

Minho scoffed and shook his head in amusement. “You really have no clue, don’t you?” he said, and Taemin wanted to ask him to elaborate but Minho continued, “I don’t usually try to approach someone if I’m not sure they’re interested in me.” 

“Why did you asked me out for today then?” Taemin asked, because surely Minho wouldn’t thought that Taemin had a crush on him, right?

“Because I think you’re cute,” Minho answered easily, “and I know you won’t fall with me so I can rest easily and enjoy this date without worrying about the aftermath.”

“That’s weird.” 

“As if you’re not weird. Why did you agree to go out with me?” Minho asked him back, amusement still written all over his face and Taemin almost wanted to just leave him there because he didn’t sign up for the date to be having a heart-to-heart session instead, “You’re not even interested in men, are you?”

He had a long conversation with Jonghyun just a few weeks ago about love, romance, and sexuality, and that’s probably the main reason why he had agreed to go out Minho. Jonghyun had been writing a song and Taemin had been there as his discussion partner, and after their conversation, Jonghyun had encouraged him to explore more about himself and his relationships with other people outside the comfort of having Jongin and himself as his best friends. Taemin had been reluctant, thinking that love and romance were the last thing on his mind, but Jonghyun is indeed his closest friend aside from Jongin so maybe he did know what he’s talking about.

And Minho is openly bisexual, and someone he could trust with his life so maybe it’s not so bad to have a reflective talk with him once in a while. 

“I like hanging out with you,” Taemin answered after a while. “And I’m not sure about my interest - I was hoping I could find the answer myself by going on this date.”

Minho looked surprised for a few seconds, but then he smiled kindly and reached out across the table to rest his hand on top of Taemin’s, lightly interlaced their fingers. Taemin turned his hand upside so they could properly hold hands, and then Minho gently squeezed his hand. 

“Does it feel weird?” Minho asked, and Taemin squeezed him back to realize that it’s not really weird but it’s not giving him any excitement either - and not because it’s a guy’s hand, in fact it felt quite nice because Minho’s hand was large, especially compared to Taemin’s small one, and it’s rough unlike a girl’s hand. 

“It doesn’t feel like anything,” Taemin decided to answer after a while, slowly pulling his hand from Minho’s grip. “It’s the same feeling as when I held Krystal’s or Yerim’s hands. Or Key-hyung’s. Or Jonghyun-hyung’s.”

“Because you think of us as your friends,” Minho said, chuckling a little bit as he reached out to pinch at Taemin’s cheek and Taemin yelped before swatting Minho’s hand away. Minho laughed at his reaction, but his expression turned serious again as he asked, “Does it feel different with Jongin?”

Taemin stared at him incredulously. “You don’t actually believe the rumour about us, do you?”

Minho laughed again. “No, if you said you’re not dating, then I believe you. But you should realize it yourself that you both have a peculiar kind of intimacy when you’re together that you can’t really blame people for thinking you’re fucking each other.”

Taemin scowled at the crude word but Minho just shrugged unapologetically. 

“If you’re okay with that kind of intimacy with Jongin, I wouldn’t be surprised if it turns out that you like men too. And when I said that, it doesn’t mean you’re attracted to all men - you can be very picky about it or it can even be just one special person,” Minho added in a kinder and more patient tone. “I mean, even when you identified yourself as straight you could have a very specific type of woman that you’re attracted to and it doesn’t make your attraction less valid.”

Taemin didn’t even know how to react because he never really thought about it that way and it made him uncomfortable because it was too much to think in a short period of time without the luxury of having his own thoughts to himself, and Minho probably noticed it and he was kind enough to just stop the conversation and steered to another topic to talk about. Taemin was grateful that Minho was being considerate even though what Minho said had stayed on the back of his mind for the whole day.

But Minho was really good at distracting him, and the rest of the day became a blur of doing fun things from watching a good thriller movie, going ice skating at the outdoor rink by the Thames (even though both of them sucks at it), and splurging on bratwursts, apple pies, and mulled wine on the christmas market at Hyde Park. It was a fun date - Minho had been a fantastic date and Taemin liked the way he’s been attentive to him all day - he did tell Taemin the reason that he wanted to go on a date in the first place was because he has this urge to spoil his date but he’s also not looking for a relationship so Taemin had been perfect. “Spoiling you is fun,” Minho said, and Taemin grinned because he definitely liked being spoiled. 

“Are you enjoying today?” Minho asked as they walked from the tube station to his building. Taemin had told him that he didn’t have to send him home, but Minho insisted, saying that it’s needed for the whole dating experience.

“I am, thank you for being such a wonderful date,” Taemin smiled at him and Minho smiled back - he’s so gorgeous and Taemin knew he’s lucky that he got the chance to go out on a date with him and how a lot of other people would die to be in his position. And he could appreciate Minho’s qualities, and if things were different, he would probably have a crush on him too.

“You’ve also been really cute today,” Minho said, smiling and ruffling Taemin’s hair affectionately. “Now I kind of understand why Jongin never go out on dates with anyone else aside from you.”

“Hyung, Jongin and I don’t go out on dates.”

“All those things you’ve done with me today, have you not done it with Jongin before?”

“I have, but-”

“Then they were also dates, no?” Minho cut him before he could finish, raising his eyebrows in challenge. “What makes you think they weren’t dates?”

“Because we’re just friends.” Taemin answered weakly, and even to him the answer sounded unconvincing because well, him and Minho were also just friends.

“Taemin,” Minho sighed but he still smiled kindly at him, “I don’t want to put words in your mouth but I really think you should properly think about how you are feeling for Jongin. Were you thinking about him at all today?”

Taemin frowned but he had to admit that as much as he’s having fun on their date, he couldn’t deny that Jongin had kept coming to his mind the whole day. How Jongin would probably love the movie even more than Taemin and wouldn’t stop talking about it for at least an hour. How if they skated together, Jongin would hold his hands as he did perfect figure eights and he would laugh every time Taemin had to cling to him when he lost his balance. How Jongin would be drunk after only a glass of mulled wine and how he would insist on them getting matching mittens or socks.

How Jongin would look beautiful under the moonlight and how Taemin would want to immortalize the sight in his memory.

“You don’t have to answer me,” Minho chuckled, stopping Taemin before he could even think of an answer, “and I’m sorry if you feel I’m overstepping the boundaries, but I truly care for you and Jongin.”

Taemin couldn’t help but smile at that - of course he knew that Minho didn’t have other intention aside from trying to help him. 

“It’s okay, hyung, you’re not overstepping at all,” Taemin said, “I should be thanking you for helping me reflect on my feelings.”

Minho beamed at him, and after a few more minutes of walking and talking, they’ve arrived at his building. They hugged briefly before Minho left him, and Taemin was about to enter the building when Jongin came out from the front door. 

Taemin was sure that Jongin was wearing his worn out loungewear set under his huge full-body length down jacket, and his hair was a mess and his eyes were puffy so he most likely just woke up from a nap, but the moment their eyes met, he almost wanted to laugh because really, why the hell was his heart beating so fast?

“Taemin? Are you done with your date?” Jongin asked, looking surprised. Taemin smiled at him and nodded, asking, “Where are you going?”

“I’m just going to Sainsbury to buy some food,” Jongin answered. “Do you want me to buy you anything?”

“Can I come with you?” Taemin asked instead, and Jongin looked at him for a while before he smiled and reached out his hand, which Taemin took without hesitation.

He remembered his conversation with Minho and it felt so different, Taemin thought, the way Jongin’s hand was holding his own. It didn’t necessarily give him spark or excitement but it sure made him feel content, safe, and warm. He interlaced their fingers and Jongin smiled as he pulled him along to walk with him.

“How was the date?” 

“Minho-hyung was a fantastic date,” Taemin answered, tightening his hold on Jongin’s hand. “Now I understand why he was so popular.”

Jongin laughed at that, and Taemin couldn’t help but realizing how Jongin’s laughter was one of his most favourite sounds in the world. “So you have a crush on him now?”

“I don’t,” Taemin answered, taking a deep breath as he’s preparing himself for what he’s going to say next, “but he did help me realize that I also like men.”

Taemin felt how Jongin went stiff for a second before he turned to face Taemin. Taemin smiled at him before looking back at the street, pressing his body closer to Jongin’s side because the night was getting colder.

“Are you okay?” Jongin asked, hesitantly, and Taemin squeezed his hand to assure him that he’s okay.

“I’m fine,” Taemin answered, leaning his head on Jongin’s shoulder. “I guess I kind of always knew that I am bisexual but talking with Minho-hyung today had helped me to be sure of it.”

Jongin didn’t say anything as a response, but he gave an encouraging squeeze to Taemin’s hand and Taemin just closed his eyes, focusing on the warmth he’s feeling from Jongin’s hand and from how they’re pressed closely with each other. 

Jongin then asked him about his day, about the Georgian food he had, about the movie he watched - he laughed when Taemin told him that both him and Minho were terrible at skating that they must’ve looked ridiculous walking slowly and panickedly clutching at each other when they’re about to fall, but he did asked gently if he’s hurt anywhere.

And when Taemin told him they should go to the night market together next time and buy matching mittens, Jongin smiled beatifically and he’s so beautiful that Taemin could feel the heartburn and that’s when he realized how he liked Jongin in a _you're so beautiful that I want to kiss you until you're breathless_ kind of way.

The realization should’ve been scary, especially since it could very much change the dynamic of their relationship, but with Jongin being a steady presence beside him, Taemin knew that everything would be okay.

* * *

Everything really turned out to be okay. Nothing really changed between them, except for the fact that Taemin kind of realized he’s having a crush towards his best friend and he'd been thinking on how he should approach this, because if anything, he should make Jongin realize first that Taemin like _ like _ him. He started by becoming more affectionate, which started as difficult because he's not used to it but Jongin's reception had always been really cute and it really pushed Taemin to put more effort. Just simple things really, like messaging him more often with random nonsensical things he found like cute puppies videos, funny memes, or sometimes cute selfies when he feels like his face isn't bloated. 

(in which Jongin will replies with cute selfies of his own and Taemin almost wants to resent him because Jongin never looks weird in his selfies ever) 

The thing is, Jongin also started to become even more affectionate and Taemin was basically getting weaker every time. Jongin had always been affectionate and very liberal with praises and intimate touches, but maybe because Taemin had been more affectionate, he'd leveled up his affection too. The touches became more frequent, and Jongin started to do this thing where he kisses his hair and it's Taemin's most favourite thing in the world. He stared at Taemin more often too, just openly staring and when Taemin asked him what's up, he'd quickly find something random to say but there were moments when he'd just say_ 'you're beautiful' _so casually, as if those words didn't make Taemin internally screamed. 

With every passing day, Taemin becoming surer that he's really falling in love with his best friend. And with how Jongin had been reacting to his advances, he’s also sure that Jongin had been feeling the same for a while now.

He knew he should’ve had his suspicions that Jongin might’ve had a crush on him before, after all, Jongin had always treat him differently compared to anyone else and he never hesitated in showing his affection. But he’d always ended up thinking that it was just Jongin being affectionate and so what if Jongin likes to touch him or stare at Taemin as if he’s the most beautiful person he’s ever seen - Taemin can appreciate beauty and he remembered how when Jongin had his growth spurt in high school Taemin used to spend a lot of time just enviously admiring Jongin’s tall body and discreetly telling him to wear more white t-shirts because he really liked how it looked on him. 

He’d also thought that surely Jongin would have told Taemin if he liked him more than a friend - after all their relationship is supposed to be one hundred percent openness and no secret at all. 

But Taemin had came to realize himself, as he listened to Jongin animatedly complaining to him about an argument he had with his professor, that if it happened to him, if somehow the situation has changed and Jongin was actually straight and it’s impossible for him to love Taemin in more than a friendly way, Taemin would never do anything about his feelings either. He would never want to make Jongin feel uneasy, and if it means he’d have to lie to Jongin about his feelings for eternity, he would definitely do that without question.

With that realization, he hadn’t even notice it when a single tear came down on his face back then. It’s so painful for him just imagining it - how painful it must’ve been for Jongin if he truly had been spending quite some time thinking that his feelings will forever be unrequited? Jongin had panicked when he saw the tears, and Taemin just blinked, telling him lamely that it must’ve been dust, but still he had reached out and hugged Jongin as tight as possible, the apology went unsaid but he hoped that somehow, someday, he could make up for every heartache he had inadvertently caused him. 

And yet, he didn’t do anything about his feelings because he thinks his best friend, being the hopeless romantic that he is, would want it to be a special moment, not just a careless confession over the kitchen counter or some impulsive kisses. Not to mention that Jongin would want to properly talk about everything first, and he felt that he should at least give him that, especially since Jongin might’ve been struggling with his feelings for longer than he did.

Maybe even since that time when he broke up with his first boyfriend, telling Taemin that it didn't work because Jongin didn't put enough effort in trying to like him more. Taemin couldn't offer him any advice back then, especially since he didn't even understand what liking someone even means, and when he told Jongin that, he remembered Jongin looking at him with regret in his eyes even when he's smiling. He used to wonder why Jongin would look at him like that, why jongin would have that wistful gaze as he watched Taemin trying to cheer him up by playing a song, but now he might finally understand why. 

* * *

It’s with the same wistful gaze that Jongin looked at him over the huge table separating them. They were celebrating Jongin’s birthday with their friends at the restaurant owned by Jonghyun’s family, and Chanyeol had brought with him an outrageously big cake with twenty one little candles on top of it. Why he hadn’t opt to just buy two candles with numbers instead, Taemin couldn’t understand, but Jongin looked happy to see the cake so he guessed it’s for the best. 

Jongin was about to make a wish before blowing the candles, and his gaze shifted to Taemin, who was standing across him on the other side of the table. They looked at each other for barely a second before they both smiled, and then Jongin just blew the candles, seemingly without making any wish beforehand. He blew them in a rapid succession that it only took three seconds tops for him to blow out all the candles.

The crowd was too shocked since they haven’t even start singing and no one was even ready to take the picture - and Jongin smiled sheepishly as he realized that he blew the candles too fast.

“Jongin! You haven’t even make a wish!” Jongdae protested, followed by the others voicing their protests. Taemin could only laugh and shook his head, and then he caught Jongin staring at him again.

“I’m sorry!” Jongin said, shifting his gaze as he addressed the crowd. “But don’t worry, I made my wish already.” 

He shifted his gaze to Taemin again, smiling, and looked away as he added, “My wish every year has always been the same so I didn’t even need to think about it.”

Taemin could only smiled as he listened to their friends still protesting to Jongin and demanded him to restart the candles so they could take pictures, and then he could feel a hand around his shoulder and from the calming soft scent, he knew it was Jonghyun.

“So the birthday boy had the same wish every year, huh?” he asked conversationally and Taemin rolled his eyes because he knew where it was going. “Do you grant his wish every year too?”

“Hyung, I don’t even know what he’s wishing for,” Taemin answered, his eyes were still focusing on Jongin, who’s currently in an argument with Krystal and Sehun.

“Don’t you think it has to do with you?” Jonghyun asked again.

“His life doesn’t revolve around me,” Taemin answered. “He probably wished for world peace or something like that.”

Jonghyun laughed at that.

“Hey, Jongin!” Jonghyun called at Jongin loudly, and Taemin inwardly prayed that he didn’t say anything that could probably embarrass him. “Taemin said he wants to know what you’ve been wishing for all this time!”

Okay, he’s asking too much - he should probably prayed for world peace instead.

Their friends laughed and Jongin looked startled for a second, but then he smiled at both of them and he’s so beautiful Taemin felt the itch to preserve the memory in his painting. “You cannot guess?” Jongin asked Taemin, almost playfully.

Taemin smiled back. “I’m guessing world peace,” he said loudly, and everyone was laughing again, including Jongin.

“That’s actually pretty close,” Jongin said in between his laughter. “To my definition of world peace, at least.”

“If you’ve been asking for it every year,” Chanyeol asked, “does it mean it hasn’t been granted?”

Jongin smiled again, a little bit more wistfully this time, “I think it’s always been granted every year. Or at least I hope it has been. I just hope it’ll continue to be granted this year too.”

Taemin watched with fondness as their friends showered Jongin with hugs - Jongin had always has this power to make people emotional with his honest and earnest expression. 

“He is the most precious person I’ve ever known,” Jonghyun said. “You’re lucky.”

Taemin turned to face Jonghyun, looking for explanation but Jonghyun just ruffled his hair and smiled at him. Taemin then realized that not only Jonghyun is his best friend too, but he'd always been good at reading people in general, so out of everyone in this room, Jonghyun would probably be the one who knew exactly how Taemin felt. He hadn’t told anyone about his feelings for Jongin, but maybe he didn’t have to - maybe it had always been obvious to people closest to him and he’s just too slow to realize it himself.

So he had smiled back at Jonghyun and said, “Yeah, I think I really am.” 

The party went on until really late - and with the free flow alcohol courtesy of Minseok who just landed a huge job in the States, everyone was spectacularly drunk, except for the few people who had lost the rock-paper-scissor game at the beginning and had been appointed as designated drivers. Taemin was also drunk, but he’s not as drunk as the others, especially since he had always got better alcohol tolerance than everyone. 

Meanwhile Jongin, being the birthday boy, had been so drunk that he had been leaning heavily on Taemin as they made their way to their unit after Jinki dropped them in front of their building. Taemin struggled with the keys, because it’s in his pocket and it’s difficult with Jongin pressing into him but then Jongin just dangled his own keys in front of Taemin’s face. He swiftly opened the lock and as soon as they reached the living room, Jongin slumped himself on the couch. Taemin discarded his own coat and scarf first before he approached Jongin, pulling him slightly so he could remove his coat and scarf. Jongin was still sober enough to cooperate, and by the time Taemin got rid of his boots, Jongin suddenly pulled his arms and Taemin stumbled but he managed to regain his balance and holding to the sofa’s headrest before he could fall on top of Jongin. Jongin looked up to him thoughtfully, as if trying to read his mind, and he reached out his hands to cup at Taemin’s face and pulled him closer - they’re so close that Taemin could almost feel his heart threatening to leap out from his throat.

“Are you happy?”

The random question caught him off guard, but Taemin smiled as he nodded. “I am.”

Jongin asked again, “Just now? Or are you always happy?” 

He’s obviously drunk, and he probably wouldn’t remember anything in the morning, but Taemin still answered him honestly anyway, saying, “Yes, I’m always happy.” 

Jongin looked very pleased with himself, mumbling, “Good, then my birthday wish every year has always been granted.” 

The statement surprised Taemin - it made him hopeful and he felt a little bit shy to actually ask it out loud because it sounded so conceited, but still he asked, “Did you wish for our happiness?”

“No,” Jongin shook his head and Taemin could almost feel the disappointment creeping inside him but he couldn’t really feel bad when Jongin was still smiling at him and his hands were warm on his cheeks. 

“I’ve always wished for your happiness,” Jongin said after a while, smiling, his hands were slightly trembling and Taemin’s breath was caught in his throat. “That’s enough because your happiness is my happiness.” 

Taemin knew that Jongin is a sweetheart, that Jongin is probably the kindest human being he’d ever known, but for him to actually used his birthday wish, which he only got once a year, to wish for Taemin’s happiness, because he thought that Taemin’s happiness was his happiness, that was the sweetest and kindest thing anyone had ever done for him. 

“Don’t cry,” Jongin suddenly said, his thumb wiping at tears Taemin didn’t even realized had fell from his eyes. “Did I say something wrong?” he asked, worry latched onto his voice and his expression turned into concern, so Taemin shook his head and tried his best to smile.

“No,” Taemin said, his voice was still shaking and he really couldn’t stop more tears from flowing but still he smiled. “Thank you for wishing for my happiness, now I know why I’m always blessed.”

Jongin wiped Taemin’s tears using his sleeve - his eyes were dropping as he looked up at Taemin. “You are really beautiful,” Jongin said as he closed his eyes, and his hands which were holding Taemin’s face fell down. He mumbled something gibberish before his breath evened, signing that he’s fallen asleep.

Taemin laughed to himself - Jongin is really the most precious human being on the planet and Taemin felt like all his feelings for Jongin was threatening to spill out and he’d gone crazy if he kept it to himself for any longer.

He looked at Jongin, who was sleeping so peacefully, and he took a deep breath. He raised himself from the couch and kneel down beside Jongin, taking both of Jongin’s hands in his and brought them close to his heart as he closed his eyes and prayed.

It’s been a while since he actually did a night prayer, but the prayer slipped out of his mouth with practiced ease as he thought of Jongin and how he wished he could ask for forgiveness for all those years he had been so ignorant and too focused on himself to realize that Jongin had always been in love with him, how he wished to do the same for Jongin from now on, and how he promised to make sure that whatever happened, he’d always make sure that Jongin would get his happiness.

He prayed for the strength and courage to finally said everything in his prayers to Jongin when the moment finally came. 

* * *

But then it never came - their spring term was a literal nightmare they barely had time to see each other even though they live in the same place. Taemin was stressed, Jongin was stressed, and he didn’t even have time to think about anything else aside from making sure that his assignments were all done and at the same time making sure that he’s there just enough for Jongin to be able to find him if everything’s too much for him and he needs someone to vent to, or just someone to cuddle and snuggle with, which technically, was the only thing they’ve been doing every time their free time aligned - just snuggling on their couch as they watched random stuff on youtube or netflix and munching on whatever take-outs they had for that time. 

February and March passed by without him having time to realize it, and the winter winds had long gone but it’s not like the spring winds are any better. It was early December when Taemin first realized that he’s having a crush on Jongin, and now March has ended and even though there’s definitely progress in their relationship in terms of their ways of showing affection, they’re still going nowhere. He knows that Jongin must’ve realized that Taemin had been flirting with him - there’s no way he’d miss it because Taemin had been very obvious - there’s nothing more obvious than asking Jongin to bring him flowers so he could show off in front of his classmates or playing him a song that was important for both of them because of the memories they shared with it, right? 

Or how he just slumped on Jongin’s chest on their way to here, how he booked only one room with one bed for both of them, or how he’d been the one pestering Jongin for quality time with just the two of them like a clingy boyfriend for the past few months despite their packed schedules.

He even closed his eyes when Jongin tenderly touched his cheek, hoping that Jongin would understand that it’s his permission for Jongin to kiss him, but he did nothing. Taemin couldn’t even hide his disappointment as he opened and narrowed his eyes at Jongin before turning around and walked away - and apparently Jongin noticed it too because before he could go too far, he’d pull Taemin for a tight embrace.

And now, within Jongin’s embrace, he can feel how fast Jongin’s heartbeat is - and he remembers that this is Jongin, someone who always feels so much more and if Taemin himself feel like he’s about to burst from how much he loves Jongin, he cannot imagine how it felt for Jongin. He closes his eyes, resting his head on Jongin’s shoulder and circling his hands around Jongin’s waist.

This feels right - he tells Jongin how much he likes his hugs and how it always makes him calm and Jongin hums, telling him that it felt the same way for him.

He knows his frustration is nothing compared to Jongin’s patience, but he's never been good at denying himself what he wanted, and now, he wants Jongin, he really wants him. Especially when they slowly let go of each other but Jongin is holding the back of his head, preventing him from moving away. Jongin is looking at him as if he thinks that Taemin's eyes holds the answer to all the mysteries of the universe, and they're so close because Jongin is holding his head and almost touching their foreheads together, and it will be very cruel of Jongin if he's not kissing him right now. 

And then he thinks, the only reason why it had been easy for him and how he’d feel comfortable with his feelings for Jongin was because he knew that to some extent, Jongin also shared the feelings. It might not be the same for Jongin, who probably had prepared to never confess his feelings to Taemin at all forever. So Taemin smiles, thinking that maybe Jongin just needs that little push to alleviate all his doubts and anxiety, and he’s saying what he thinks out loud.

“Please tell me this is when you’re going to kiss me.”

Jongin looked perplexed for a second and then he just grins. He grins with that stupidly handsome face of his and Taemin wants to hit him because it's unfair, it's so unfair how he can make Taemin so flustered like this, but at the same time, he felt indescribable happiness because wow, he’s not crazy and they really want each other. He closes his eyes, feeling the anticipation building and he stops breathing - he’s afraid that even the slightest breath could break whatever spell they’re currently in - and then he can feel that Jongin is touching his hair and moves them away from his forehead, before planting a kiss there. 

A forehead kiss - something so soft and tender and loving and damn, the way Jongin’s lips linger before he pulls away shouldn’t feel this good, but it does - it feels miles better than any other kisses he’s ever had. And when he opens his eyes, Jongin is looking at him with so much love in his eyes that Taemin almost thinks that he’s undeserving of it, undeserving of someone as kind and loving and gorgeous as Jongin, but of course, since Jongin also wants him, Taemin can only give whatever he wants. 

So even though it’s not the kiss he’s expected, when Jongin reaches out his hand, Taemin doesn't even think before linking their fingers together. 

As always, it fits perfectly. 

* * *

When Taemin told Jongin that they can live up every cheesy romance scenes Jongin has in his mind he was mostly teasing him, but maybe Jongin took it seriously and well, it’s not like Taemin wants to complain. Jongin has been impossibly cute since yesterday - from getting grumpy at Taemin in the morning because he’s hungry to bringing his favourite coffee and pretty flowers for him in the afternoon like the perfect ideal boyfriend that Taemin never even realized he’d needed. Even their evening in the pub, when Jongin just watched him with a fond look all over his face as Taemin played a song for him, it made him feel like a lovestruck teenager that he had to drink more soju than usual just to clear his mind. And last night, being the angel that he is, the first thing Jongin did when they arrived in their flat was to make ginger honey tea so that Taemin could sober up and won’t feel nauseous in the morning.

And Jongin is now being an angel again, carrying a crying little girl in his arms, telling her a story about something to stop her from crying while Taemin tries to find her parents among the crowd on the fish and chips place. It’s not difficult to find the flustered couple, who bolted out of the place as soon as Taemin told them about their daughter, and Taemin can’t help but smile when he sees how the little girl now seems reluctant to let go of Jongin, even when her parents pick her up. They spend quite a while trying to get her away from Jongin without her crying, and she only agrees when her father comes back with an ice cream to lure her. While she’s distracted, the parents gesture them to sneak away quietly while thanking them for finding their daughter.

“You’re always good with children, no?” Taemin asks when they’re finally away from the little family. They still have a few more hours before sunset, but since they’re currently on the other side of the coast, they’ve started walking back and now they’re stopping to appreciate the view - they’re currently standing at the cliff above the beach, and the abbey is just at the hill right across them. 

“Of course, I’ve been dealing with you my whole life,” Jongin teases him, and Taemin wants to be mad but he can’t, not when Jongin is currently draping himself all over Taemin while Taemin tries to take a picture of the scenery from the viewpoint. There’s not much height difference between them, but Jongin has always been broader than him that when he hugs Taemin from behind like this, Taemin always feel like he's being surrounded by Jongin and it makes him feel funny things.

He sighs - he’s been feeling these _ funny things _ ever since _ forever _ so why the hell he’s just realized it recently that it’s because he got a really huge crush on Jongin? 

“Is this also one of the romantic scenes in your head?” Taemin asks instead, trying to get the best angle on his phone even though he’s still feeling frustrated and the way Jongin’s warm hands circling his waist is very distracting.

“Not really,” Jongin muses while kissing Taemin’s hair and Taemin almost drops his phone because really, he’s _ really weak _ when Jongin kisses his hair. “This is just me doing my favourite thing.”

It’s so cheesy, and if it’s any other person Taemin would’ve just scoffed and ask them to learn more flirting techniques instead of blurting out nonsense, but this is Jongin, a sweetheart who is not used to flirting and is probably just saying what’s on his mind without any second thought. Jongin who probably doesn’t even realize the effect he has on Taemin, and is just happy that he doesn’t need to hold back anymore and can show his affection as much as he wants.

Taemin can feel the sting on the corner of his eyes - he’s never been overly emotional but being with Jongin right now, with how warm he feels despite the cold wind around them, with how calm his heartbeat is reverberating from behind his own chest and his warm breath tickling his cheeks, Taemin feels an overwhelming warmth in his heart and he wants to cry, really. Jongin has been so obviously radiant ever since the kiss earlier and Taemin feels so _ so _ lucky that he really could make Jongin this happy. Before he can really cry and making Jongin worry though, Taemin places his hands on top of Jongin’s and is slowly pulling them away from his waist.

“Let me take your picture,” Taemin says, and Jongin makes a noise of protest but he does let go of his hold on Taemin. Taemin directs him to stand near the rail, and Taemin adjusts the angle so that he can get both the abbey on the opposite hill and the sea on the picture. Taemin stops once he finds the angle, and then Jongin looks at him through the lens. Taemin breath is caught in his throat because Jongin isn’t smiling - he’s looking at the camera with a pointed look and he’s angling his face a little bit that it showcases his sharp jaw and the sharp angle of his nose. Taemin always know that Jongin is very handsome, but he never really think about it like this, about how it would feel to touch those sharp angles and what kind of noise would he makes when Taemin runs his teeth along those jaws. It strikes him that he can probably do it now and Jongin would let him, and that knowledge alone makes him weak in the knees. He quickly taps the screen and takes several pictures before he could actually drops his phone from staring too long.

“You’re disgustingly good looking,” Taemin comments as he shows his phone to Jongin. Jongin just laughs as he swipes between photos, and there’s no traces left at all of the smoldering look he gave to the camera just a few seconds ago. Jongin now is full of smiles, eyes crinkling adorably and he looks so warm in his jumper and wool coat and Taemin just wants to bury himself in his hugs forever. 

“Let’s take a selfie,” Jongin says, pulling Taemin to stand beside him. He circles one of his hands around Taemin’s shoulder, while his other one is holding the phone. His long hand is really an advantage at a time like this, since it can really capture the scenery behind them and not just their faces. Taemin looks at the camera and smiles, and he can see that Jongin is also smiling too. He presses the shutter and it counts down from five - Taemin glances at Jongin and he finds out that Jongin is doing the same, and as their eyes meet on the screen, they cannot hold their laughters and it’s when the camera captures the picture.

“What the hell,” Taemin says between his laughters, “why are we stealing glances like some sort of high school teenagers.”

“I know,” Jongin is also wheezing. “Come on, let’s take a proper one.”

Jongin pulls Taemin even closer and Taemin is still trying to stop his laughter. He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath to calm himself down, and when he opens his eyes to look at the phone screen again, Jongin is looking at him.

“Don’t laugh,” Jongin says, even though there’s still a trace of his own laughter on the corner of his mouth. 

“I won’t,” Taemin grins, and an idea comes to his mind as Jongin presses the shutter button and the countdown starts again. As the seconds hit two, Taemin turns his head and tiptoes a little bit so he can plant a kiss on Jongin’s cheek.

He can feel the exact moment Jongin’s breath is caught in his throat and how he freezes, and it’s exhilarating that even such a simple gesture could really affect Jongin so much, assuring him that he’s not the only one feeling all giddy with this new development in their relationship. 

And it feels really nice - Jongin’s skin is actually as soft as he initially thought it would feel under his lips, and even though they kissed each other on the cheek before, this is the first time that Taemin lets his lips linger. 

“Taeminnie, it’s not fair,” Jongin finally says something after a while, and Taemin slowly pulls away reluctantly - he wants to keep kissing Jongin’s skin and how he wishes he can map every inch of Jongin’s skin with his lips_ right now _.

“What if I drop your phone?” Jongin whines again, and Taemin peeks as Jongin pouts and looks down to check out the pictures. The camera managed to get the selfie - Taemin had his eyes closed while his lips were pressed on Jongin’s cheek, and Jongin didn’t even looked surprised in the picture, he’s grinning and _ winking _and he looks so handsome Taemin wants to be mad.

“You’re not even surprised!” Taemin protests.

“I was surprised for a second but my camera instinct took over in a flash.”

“You’re such a dork,” Taemin pouts, but still, he does like the picture very much. He looks up at Jongin, who is currently touching his cheek that Taemin just kissed, looking at the picture with a small smile on his face.

“Stop daydreaming,” Taemin interrupts him and Jongin turns to face him, “I’m here.”

Jongin then smiles, tucking away the phone and reaching out both of his hands to touch at Taemin’s face, cupping both of his cheeks in his large hands. He leans his face closer and Taemin closes his eyes, not knowing himself what he’s expecting but right now he wants anything that Jongin wants to give him. 

“Don’t close your eyes like that, it makes me want to kiss you,” Jongin whispers, and he’s so close that Taemin can feel his breath on his cheek.

“And? What's stopping you?” Taemin prompts, slowly opening his eyes and his heart skips a beat because they’re so close that he can see himself reflected in Jongin’s eyes. He likes it - he likes seeing himself in Jongin’s eyes.

“I feel like we need to talk before doing that,” Jongin confesses, touching his forehead against Taemin’s, “Don’t you think so?”

Taemin doesn't think so, especially since he's never good with words and he always believes that actions will forever speak louder, but he knows it's important for Jongin so he smiles. “Let’s talk then.”

Jongin smiles back and he pushes them apart slowly but he’s still keeping Taemin at arm’s length, his hands now resting on each side of Taemin’s shoulders. He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath - he looks so nervous and Taemin wants to reach out his hand and touch him, telling him that it’s okay, it’s just Taemin, there’s no need to be so nervous, but he doesn’t know if it’s the right thing to do, so he just waits.

“God, I’ve imagined saying it so many times but I’m still nervous.” Jongin lets out a nervous laugh after a while, and Taemin’s heart melts at his guileless honesty. He’s so cute - he’s so jittery that he’s biting his lips and he can’t even look at Taemin in the eyes, and Taemin decides to just takes both of Jongin’s hands from his shoulders and holding them in his hands instead. Jongin finally looks at him, and Taemin cannot stop himself from just dropping his head on Jongin’s shoulder. 

“I know, right?” Taemin says, his voice muffled by Jongin’s coat, “It’s just you but I feel like I’m about to collapse from how fast my heart is beating.”

Jongin then laughs, a real laugh right now, and then he pushes Taemin again so he can look at Taemin with that look in his eyes, where it clearly shows how much he’s been waiting for this moment, how long he’s been building up his courage to do this. And Taemin is grateful that he gives Jongin the chance instead of stealing the moment from him.

“I love you,” Jongin finally says, reaching out to hold both of Taemin’s hands in his and the moment those words actually leave Jongin’s mouth, Taemin can feel the warmth spreading all over his insides. “I love you so much, Lee Taemin. And it’s not just loving you as my best friend, which is very important already but I love you more than that. I love you to the point that I don’t want to love anyone else, I want it to be just you. And I want to kiss you and do all these things that boyfriends do and, are you okay with that? Do you also want to kiss me?”

Taemin doesn’t really know what kind of confession he’d expected, but the way those words just flowing out from Jongin’s lips as if it’s been rehearsed so many times and yet it still sounds so sincere and genuine really makes him emotional. “Yes,” he answers, smiling and squeezing Jongin’s hands to calm his crazy heartbeats, “I love you too and I want to kiss you too. I’m more than okay with us being boyfriends. Please be my boyfriend.” 

Jongin chuckles, and then he rests his head against Taemin’s forehead again, whispering, “Okay, let’s be boyfriends.”

Taemin then can feel Jongin’s fingers on his face, stroking him softly. He then leans his face closer again, closing his eyes this time, and Taemin smiles as he also closes his eyes.

And finally, he can feel Jongin’s lips on his. 

Jongin’s lips felt wonderful against his - there’s no hint of nervousness left because Jongin is so confident in the way he’s holding Taemin right now - one of his hands is cradling his face and the other one is circling his waist, pushing their bodies closer. It’s a slow kiss, they’re simply nibbling each other’s lips and sharing their breath for a while and it feels so damn good that Taemin doesn’t ever want to stop. It’s amazing, Taemin thinks, how different a kiss could be when it’s with someone you love - it’s as if every single touch affects him tenfold. 

It stops too fast - he doesn’t know who actually pulls away first but when he realizes it, they’re both breathing heavily, resting their foreheads against each other. His heart is still beating in an abnormal pace, and he moves his hand to feel at Jongin’s chest - but he frowns when he couldn’t feel any heartbeat at all.

“That’s my right,” Jongin laughs, holding Taemin’s hands and moving it to the left side of his chest, and it’s such a nice sounding sound that Taemin promises to himself he’d do anything to make sure he will hear this laughter for the rest of his life. 

“I know, I’m just looking for an excuse to fondle your chest,” Taemin mutters, even though he genuinely forgot where the heart is supposed to be. And then he can really feel Jongin’s heartbeat, almost as fast as his own. It calms him, to know that they both want this so much that they’re both so nervous, even though they really have no reason to be nervous since they both know that everything will be alright. 

“Sure,” Jongin comments, and he also put his hand on Taemin’s chest. “Woah, your heart actually beats so fast too.”

“Of course,” Taemin says, pressing Jongin’s hand closer to his heart. “I’m so nervous it’s not even funny.”

“Yeah, I thought us being best friends for more than ten years already would make me less nervous but apparently not,” Jongin says, smiling as he softly caresses Taemin’s cheek. “Maybe because I’ve wanted this for so long?”

“Really?” Taemin asks, partly curious and partly because he just wants to hear more of Jongin’s breathless voice. “Since when?”

“I don’t know,” Jongin answers, looking a little bit sheepishly. “I guess I’ve always been in love with you since the start?”

“Since the start? Like when we first met as ten year olds?”

Jongin scoffs but he leans down to drop a chaste kiss on Taemin’s lips. “Nevermind. Maybe I’ll tell you someday if you ask me nicely.”

Taemin pouts, and Jongin chuckles as he dips down to kiss him again, longer this time. He wants to push further, to press his tongue against the seam of Jongin’s lips, but they’re currently outside and Taemin knows he won’t be able to hold back once -

Taemin suddenly feel Jongin’s tongue on his lips and he melts - Jongin softly licks at Taemin’s lips, and Taemin complies as he opens his mouth and let Jongin inside. Their tongues meet and Taemin feels weak on his knees that he tightens his hold on Jongin’s shoulders to regain his balance. The way Jongin is controlling the kiss makes Taemin heady - he’s so used to being in control but with Jongin he just wants to let go - and Jongin is licking at the roof of his mouth near the back of his teeth and Taemin cannot really control it when he moans.

It startles him, and also Jongin who stops moving his tongue and slowly letting go of Taemin’s lips. Their lips are still so close that it’s almost touching, and Taemin wants to catch those lips again but he needs to calm down first. They’re outside, and even though no one is really paying attention to them right now they might start to once they got more heated. 

“You shouldn’t moan like that,” Jongin says, breathless, pulling Taemin’s head so that it’s resting on his neck, gently caressing his hair. “That was dangerous.” 

“And you shouldn’t just shove your tongue without warning,” Taemin quips back, this close to Jongin’s neck he can smell the faint trace of his cologne and it’s messing up with his mind - he wants nothing but to touch every part of Jongin’s body right now with his mouth, mapping everything into his brain.

“Sorry,” Jongin says as he kisses the side of Taemin’s head, “I wasn't thinking."

"It's okay," Taemin mumbles, circling his arms around Jongin’s waist, "I like it."

Jongin chuckles, muttering out a ‘glad you like it’ before Jongin's phone suddenly vibrates in the pocket of his coat and startling them both. Taemin releases his hold on Jongin’s waist as Jongin looks at the screen, frowning as he mouths 'Jonghyun-hyung' at Taemin. Taemin shrugs, wondering himself why would Jonghyun call Jongin instead of Taemin. 

"Hello?" Jongin answers the phone, "What's up hyung?" 

Taemin can faintly hear Jonghyun's voice asking 'Jongin? Where's Taemin?' and Jongin frowns again, saying, "He's with me, you want to talk with him?" 

And Taemin cannot really hear what Jonghyun is saying but then Jongin pulls the phone away, looking at it, and then he's laughing while holding it back against his ear. 

"Oh my god, I'm sorry hyung! Here, let me give it to Taemin," Jongin says, slightly wincing as he says to Taemin. "This is your phone." 

Taemin has to stop himself from physically slapping his own head because really, it's his phone that Jongin has been holding since earlier and neither of them realized it. They should really buy different colors next time. 

"Hyung!" Taemin greets Jonghyun, "Sorry for the mix up. What's up?" 

_ "You're really dumb and dumber," _ Jonghyun comments, his voice is still laced with laughter, _ "I'm at your place to pick up my guitar, can you please open the door?" _

"Ah, we're not home right now hyung, sorry! But you can just go inside, you have the key right?" Taemin asks. He had given a spare key to Jonghyun since he stayed over often at their place. 

"_Really? But there's a key hanging from the other side of the door so I can't open it." _

Taemin frowns. "That's weird, let me ask Jongin." 

Jongin looks at him at the mention of his name. "What happened?" 

"Jonghyun is trying to get into our apartment but there's key hanging from the inside," Taemin explains, and Jongin also looks confused. 

"Maybe Chanyeol is there?" Jongin asks, pulling out his own phone probably to call Chanyeol since the only other person who has the key to their apartment is him. 

_ "So it's probably Chanyeol right?" _ Jonghyun asks him. 

"I think so, Jongin is trying to call him. He's probably crashing for a nap after practice." 

Jonghyun hums in affirmation._ "Anyway, where are you two? Having a dinner date?" _

Taemin laughs. "No hyung, we're having a romantic trip in Whitby right now." He also notices that Jongin is talking on his phone - he probably managed to get to Chanyeol.

It's Jonghyun's turn to laugh on the other side. _ "Okay, okay, no need to be sarcastic, it's your own fault for always acting like boyfriends." _

Taemin stops laughing. "No hyung, I'm serious, we're in Whitby right now and since around ten minutes ago, we're officially boyfriends."

There's a pause, and then Taemin can hear the clicks of their door. 

_ "Ah, Chanyeol."_ He can hear Jonghyun greets Chanyeol and they're chatting for a while before Jonghyun is coming back to the phone. 

_ "Okay, now that I'm inside, I'm going to hang up," _ Jonghyun says, and Taemin frowns because really? There's no reaction at all hearing that Taemin and Jongin is in a relationship now? 

"Hyung? You're hearing what I told you right? Me and Jongin, we're dating now."

Jonghyun laughs again. _ "Yeah, yeah, whatever," _ he says. _"You should’ve been more creative if you want to fool me.” _

Taemin frowns. “Hyung! As if I’d just randomly fool you out of nowhere!” 

Jonghyun is still laughing._ “Taeminnie, I love you but I won’t fall for your prank again this year, bye!” _

And Jonghyun just hang up. Jonghyun just hang up on the phone as if he thinks Taemin is really playing a prank on him.

“What did Jonghyun-hyung say?” Jongin’s voice snaps Taemin from his confusion - he’s looking nervous and Taemin just realized that maybe Jongin is worried that Jonghyun didn’t respond positively to Taemin telling him about their relationship.

“He didn’t believe me,” Taemin answers, carefully. “He thinks I’m pranking him.”

Jongin also frowns. “Why would he think that?”

Taemin shrugs, thinking about the last time he saw Jonghyun, which was the day before yesterday when he had dinner at Jonghyun’s place before he had to pull an all-nighter at his studio to finish his assignment. The assignment which he submitted yesterday on the submission deadline, which was the end of March. 

Which means today is the first of April.

“Oh!” Taemin exclaims as the realization dawns upon him, “He thought I was pranking him because today was April Fool’s day!”

Jongin’s eyes widen in surprise and then it suddenly turns into panic. “Jesus christ, Taemin,” Jongin says in a higher pitch than usual, almost desperately, “today is April Fool’s day!”

“Yes, we were just talking about it.” Taemin stares at him, confused. “What’s wrong with you?”

Jongin looks at him with shock and disbelief. “What’s wrong?? Today will be our anniversary date and it’s the same day as an April Fool’s day!” He suddenly put both of his hands on Taemin’s shoulder and turns him around to face him. “Wait, you’re not pranking me, aren’t you? Oh my god please tell me it’s not a prank.”

Taemin tries to process all the information from Jongin’s inhumanly fast word vomit, and once he lets everything sinks in, he laughs. Jongin frowns at him, but before he could say anything, Taemin cups his face in his hands.

“Jonginnie, do you really think I would prank you with something as important as our relationship?” Taemin asks, pouting, and Jongin’s frown is instantly replaced by guilt but Taemin squeezes his cheeks to stop him from spiralling. “Besides, I kind of like it. We can celebrate our anniversary every year by pranking people together. Imagine us celebrating our twentieth anniversary by announcing that all this time we’re just best friends and it’s just an elaborate prank we’ve been planning for twenty years.”

Jongin doesn’t say anything for a while, but he’s looking at Taemin with thousands of unsaid emotions dancing on his eyes. 

“You’re unbelievable,” Jongin finally says, smiling. “How can you just casually say something like twentieth anniversary?”

“How else should I say it? Formally like we’re some sort of business partners?” Taemins asks back, his heart’s pounding because wow, he hadn't really thought about it but he did really just say that didn’t he. “Too bad for you, now that you’ve had willingly volunteered to be my boyfriend, I’ll hold on to you forever like that stupid tesco sticker that I could never remove from my macbook.”

Jongin laughs at that, but his eyes are getting misty and Taemin cannot help but offering him the gentlest smile he could manage, thinking that whatever he said must’ve been easing some anxiety Jongin’s been feeling. He pulls Jongin’s face down a little bit and plants a quick kiss on his lips before moving his hands to rest it on Jongin’s shoulder.

“You’re stuck with me forever,” Taemin says it again, for good measure, and Jongin pulls him in for a tight embrace. Taemin hugs him back, snuggling his face to Jongin’s neck, which quickly become his favourite place in the world, and he can feel how Jongin is softly stroking his hair and kisses him. 

On another note, he seriously needs to talk with Jongin about his habit of kissing Taemin’s hair because it really makes him weak.

“I love you so much,” Jongin whispers. “I don’t think I can ever let you go either.”

It’s so honest, the way Jongin is saying it, with how his breath hitches and how there's a slight trembling in his voice. It makes Taemin think of how he could ever possibly be so oblivious of Jongin’s feelings, but then, it’s Jongin. It’s not at all impossible for Jongin to feel that strongly for a best friend, and Taemin knows that even if they somehow don't love each other romantically, Jongin will still be saying those words with the same meaning.

Even if they remain just as best friends, he knows Jongin will be the one person that will never abandon him. He knows he can trust Jongin with that.

“Then don’t,” Taemin mumbles against Jongin’s neck. “Let’s be together forever like albatross who travels the world together and mates for life.”

Jongin laughs again, a laugh-out-loud type that had him wheezing and sounded like he’s strangled and it’s supposed to be unattractive but Taemin thinks it’s one of the most beautiful sounds. 

He’s whipped, isn’t he.

“So, what are we going to do about Jonghyun-hyung?” Jongin asks, slowly letting go of Taemin when another group of tourists starts gathering around the viewpoint. “Are we just going to explain to him later?”

Taemin shrugs, taking his phone out again and looking for the messaging app. “I’m sending him our selfie to at least let him know that we’re really in Whitby.”

Not even a second after the picture was sent, Taemin’s phone vibrates with a video call request from Jonghyun. He scoffs, and shows it to Jongin. “That was fast.”

Jongin laughs and takes the phone away from him, answering the call. Taemin stands beside him, and when the call connects, it shows Chanyeol’s face with Jonghyun behind him, their expression a mix of surprise and excitement. It looks like they’re both sitting on the couch in their living room.

“Hyung~” Jongin greets them. “Perhaps if it’s me who’s saying it, you will believe me?”

_ “Jonginnie!!” _ Jonghyun screams so loud that Chanyeol winces and Taemin has to check if the other group of tourists could hear them, and judging by their frowns they obviously hear it. _ “Are you really boyfriends now? With Taeminnie?” _

Jongin laughs again - he looks so pretty right now with his flushed cheeks and brown hair tousled by the winds, and Taemin wants to just end the call because why should he share this pretty Jonginnie with Jonghyun and Chanyeol of all the people. “Yeah, I guess.”

_ “Oh my God, I’m so happy for you both!” _ this time it’s Chanyeol who speaks, his big eyes glimmering on the screen, while Jonghyun looks like he’s constipated. _ “Since when?” _

“Since right before Jonghyun-hyung called,” Jongin answers, still smiling, even though Taemin notices that he’s a bit worried as he shifted his gaze to Jonghyun.

_ “Oh no, did he interrupt your confession?” _ Chanyeol asks again, while Jonghyun still didn’t say anything and just stared at them both - it’s kind of unnerving so Taemin tries to break the ice, answering before Jongin has a chance to. “No, but hyung did interrupt our steamy makeout session so no thanks for that.”

Taemin yelps when Jongin smacks his head. “Don’t listen to him,” Jongin says. “But Jonghyun-hyung, are you okay? You haven’t said anything.”

Jonghyun’s eyes shift between Jongin and Taemin on the screen, and then, with a sharp intake of breath, he’s burying his face on both of his hands. Taemin frowns, and Jongin looks even more worried, and Chanyeol just looked at Jonghyun confusingly before he touches Jonghyun’s back. _ “Hyung? Are you okay?” _

And then Taemin hears it - a loud sob and on the screen, Jonghyun is shaking and Chanyeol visibly panics. _ “Hyung?? Why are you crying??” _

“Hyung?” Jongin also asks, “What’s wrong?”

Hearing Jongin’s concerned voice, Jonghyun finally stops shaking and slowly lifts his face from his hands. His eyes are red and a little swollen, and Chanyeol is holding his shoulder to keep him upright. He takes another breath before speaking. _ “I’ve always known that you both like each other,” _ he starts. _ “I mean, it’s always been so obvious to me but you guys always insist that you’re just best friends.” _

Taemin holds his breath - he had expected that Jonghyun would be a little emotional upon hearing the news, but not to this extent. Jongin also seemed surprised, his hand that is currently holding the camera is shaking a little bit and Taemin circles his hand around Jongin’s waist, slightly squeezing him to provide him emotional support. 

_ “You both are very precious friends to me,” _ Jonghyun continues, "_and I've always been so worried that you would end up with somebody else without realizing how you’re actually in love with each other. You wouldn’t believe how relieved I am right now that that’s not the case, so congratulations, Taeminnie, Jonginnie.” _

Taemin smiles - he’s really lucky to have Jonghyun as his best friend, isn’t he. He turns to look at Jongin, who also turns to look at him and smiles, and he touches their forehead together before pulling back to look at the screen again. Chanyeol and Jonghyun is visibly chirpy seeing their display of affection and Taemin thinks they’re really cute, like overly excited parents seeing their children at their first ballet recitals.

“Thank you, hyung, that’s a really nice thing to say,” Jongin says, and Taemin just nods beside him, leaning his head on Jongin’s shoulder, adding, “Sorry for making you worried.”

Jonghyun chuckles, and he smiles, _ “Worrying about you guys is the main part of my job description as your friend. Chanyeol has also been worrying together with me.” _

_ “I did worry because I’ve known how Jongin felt about you for a while, but I have more faith in you guys!” _ Chanyeol grins, _ “Or mostly in Taemin, because I know Jongin is a wimp so it has to be Taeminnie who asks you out.” _

They’re all laughing except for Jongin who instantly pouts and protests. “I did confess first!” 

Chanyeol looks surprised and he looks at Taemin. Taemin smiles and nods. “He did, he did cooly confess to me first,” he affirms, feeling proud that he can actually brag to everyone that Jongin is the one confessing to him. “Our Jonginnie has grown up.”

_ “What the hell, I’m so proud of you Jonginnie!” _ Chanyeol fist-bumps him through the screen, and Jongin laughs as he returns the gesture. Jonghyun still looked at them proudly, and Taemin actually feels better now that the first people to know about their relationship are their closest friends. 

Jonghyun, who has always been subtly pushing Taemin in the right directions so that he could finally realized his feelings on his own, and Chanyeol, who has always been there for Jongin and probably knew about Jongin’s feelings all this time. 

_ “You two really look good together,” _ Jonghyun says_, "I’m almost envious seeing how perfect you are for each other.” _

_ “Right?” _ Chanyeol adds, _ “Just one look at you and I’ve known from the start that you’re meant to be together.” _

Taemin laughs, no wonder he became so mushy lately when he’s surrounded by these cheesy people who can say such lame things without blinking. Jongin also laughs, but he’s more serious as he says, “Thank you, really, for being the best friends we could ever asked for. I’m so relieved that you’re as happy as we are.”

Taemin smiles and nods in agreement, and he can see how both Jonghyun and Chanyeol looks like they are about to cry. Like what he’s always been saying, Jongin has that power really - he’s so sincere and honest that people can’t help being emotional towards him. 

_ “You’re welcome,” _ Jonghyun finally says after a while, smiling, and Chanyeol nods along with him. _ “I think now it’s time for us to stop bothering you guys. You can continue your make-out session or whatever,” _Jonghyun adds teasingly.

“We will!” Taemin chirps before Jongin could stop him, and Jongin looked at him with a scandalized expression but Taemin just grins. 

_ “I know you’ve been having this sexual tension for a while but please do everything in moderation!” _ Chanyeol also comments, and Jongin closes his eyes and sighs in frustration and Taemin laughs. He takes the phone away from Jongin and exchanging goodbyes with them before ending the call. He put aside his phone and when he turns around, Jongin just slumps his head on Taemin's shoulder.

“Chanyeol will definitely tease me the next time we meet,” Jongin mumbles, and Taemin just laughs as he pats Jongin’s head. 

“So he knows about your feelings to me?” Taemin asks, curiously. He can feel Jongin nods before standing up straight and look at Taemin, smiling.

“He knows it since very early, I think. He never really ask me about it directly, but he always seems to know. That’s why we became close, he never pushed me to share anything with him but he just knows. I can vaguely tell him a story about anything and he’d always know what I’m actually talking about. He’s weird like that.”

Taemin smiles - it warms his heart that Jongin really has a good friend like Chanyeol. He knows Chanyeol quite well, of course, especially since Chanyeol is a frequent crasher of their couch, but not to that extent - even though now, he’s looking forward to become closer with him.

“I’m actually glad that they’re the first ones to know about us,” Taemin says, reaching out to cups Jongin’s face in his hands. “Jonghyun-hyung has also helped me a lot in discovering my own feelings.”

Jongin smiles at him, “We’re lucky to have such good friends.”

“They’re the one who is lucky to have us,” Taemin jokes, squeezing Jongin’s cheeks, “And I’m the luckiest one to have you.”

Jongin chuckles at that, and he removes Taemin’s hands from his face, holding them in his hands. He looks at Taemin again, and with a smile, he leans down to kiss him. And Taemin kisses back, delighting himself in the fact that this will be their new thing, kissing each other whenever they want. 

And he thinks back to that cold December night when he saw Jongin coming out of their building and how he was struck with the realization that he possibly got a crush on his best friend - well now he’s sure that _ he’s really falling in love with his best friend_, and it’s the best thing that ever happened in his life.

The fact that his best friend is also kind of hot and very good at kissing that he literally feels like he’s about to melt, it’s just a nice bonus.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i should learn self-control and efficient story telling i'm really sorry for having too much to tell this chapter alone is 12k already ;;
> 
> and finaally after a thousand year i braved myself to write from taemin's perspective and damn he's sooo difficult to write ;; i don't know why maybe because he's my ult but really though it's stressing me out ;; i can hear his complain in my head for making him this cheesy but i always think he has the potential to be as sappy as jongin hahah 
> 
> as always, please let me know if you have any comments! next chapter i want to have them exploring the 'new' things that come with being in a relationship and i think it'll be mainly from jongin's perspective bcause i miss him so much ;;
> 
> on an unrelated note - i'm living for this SuperM first leg of tours everyone seemed so happy!! pretty bummed that there's no pretty boy but taekai were very rude in no manners so i guess that's our crumbs for the rest of the year hahah
> 
> credits:  
chapter title is from another jazz standard and 20's broadway song, "i've got a crush on you" and the version i had in my mind was ella fitzgerald's. it's such a cheeky song i feel it fits what taemin is feeling hahah


	3. (Our) Love is Here to Stay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> and he thinks of how wonderful it is to have someone who knows him, who understands him better than himself, who have been by his side all through his ups and downs and yet still continue on loving him with a love that is unchanging and unwavering.

Taemin pulls his knees to his chest as he’s sitting on the floor of their bathtub - his head is leaning against Jongin’s thigh, waiting for Jongin to start working on his hair. Jongin is sitting above him on the edge of the tub, replying to an urgent email he just got from his professor on his phone. Taemin closes his eyes, singing along to a song currently being blasted from the bluetooth speaker. After a while, he can hear Jongin joining his singing - the song is from a folk-rock band whose concert they went to last week - and hearing the way their voices harmonize nicely fills Taemin’s heart with warmth. 

It reminds him of days practicing for the church choir when they were still in primary school, leaving early and sneaking to a PC bang instead - Taemin used to play in the top leagues in Starcraft before he got busy with all his extra classes. Now that he thinks about it, he could probably become a pro gamer if he’d continued.

Taemin doesn’t usually let his mind wanders when he’s with Jongin, but since Jongin is still on his phone, Taemin allows himself to think of what ifs - what if Jongin’s family never moved to their neighbourhood? Would they still meet each other? Taemin laughs to himself as he thinks that just a few months before he met Jongin, he used to be so adamant about joining an agency and became a trainee, just because he was starstruck after watching a famous K-Pop idol performing live. Maybe if he didn’t meet Jongin, he would really become an idol.

Maybe Jongin would become an idol too. Jongin had told him that before they moved to Taemin’s neighbourhood, he was so close on joining an audition for one of the biggest entertainment agencies. So maybe that’s how they’d meet - as idols. Maybe they’d be colleagues, maybe they’d be rivals. He just knew that regardless of the circumstances, they’d be drawn to each other. 

And then they’d suffer - because being idols meant their lives would be owned by the public. They definitely wouldn’t be able to be anything other than straight, and yet Taemin has a feeling they’d still fall in love with each other anyway. So they’d have to hide their relationship - or maybe even worse, they’d never confess their feelings to each other. Maybe they’d still become best friends, but they wouldn’t be allowed to become anything more than that. 

Well, maybe not _ suffer _ \- they could still be happy. Maybe they wouldn’t allow themselves to fall in love with each other in a romantic way in the first place because they’d know the boundaries since the beginning. Maybe they would really just become the bestest of friends, supporting each other and even be the one delivering heartfelt speech as best man in each other’s wedding. Maybe, having just a tiny bit of wistfulness and wondering what would happen if things were different and they’d be the one standing by each other’s side instead of looking at each other from a distance. 

A soft touch of Jongin’s warm hands on both side of his neck pulls him out from his daydream - he can hear that Jongin is urging him to sit up properly so Taemin straightens his back. Jongin then is softly combing his hair with his fingers, still singing along softly to the tune of the song. 

Taemin always loves Jongin’s voice - it’s a low and deep baritone when he speaks, but when he sings, his pitch goes higher and there’s almost a raspy, nasal characteristic to it - it feels like having a warm honey soothing your throat. His voice always calms him, and the way Jongin’s fingers threading his hair is incredibly nice - he really can sleep like this. 

"I don't understand how your hair could be this soft, " Jongin comments as he use the comb to disentangle Taemin’s hair. "You change your hair color at least once every three months your hair should be frizzled by now."

Taemin chuckles as he points to the rack in the corner of the tub where most of his hair products are stored. "Do you think all these different hair masks are just for decoration?" 

Jongin laughs, parting Taemin’s hair into sections and Taemin can feel him attaching a hair clip to hold the upper part of his hair. He then can hear the buzz of the hair clippers as Jongin starts to trim his sides from bottom to top. 

It felt ticklish, but the buzzing sound is somehow relaxing and Jongin’s hand is warm on his neck.

"Why do you need all these different brands anyway, only one should be enough, no?" Jongin asks again after a while, still carefully working on trimming his sides. 

"They all have different scents," Taemin explains. "You know I'm sensitive to scents and it influences my mood a lot."

Jongin hums, his other hand is holding Taemin ears as he trims the hair around there and Taemin lets out a silent gasp - his ear is his sensitive spot and the soft touch of Jongin’s hand there is giving him shivers but he likes it. It’s a nice shiver that makes his whole body buzzing with warmth. 

"How about my scent?" Jongin asks. "Does it also influence your mood?" 

Taemin laughs inwardly - Jongin only wears this one specific fragrance from a brand of perfume that he really likes, and even then he rarely use the perfume but he does use the body wash from the same brand. Taemin closes his eyes - this close to Jongin he can smell his scent clearly, and it's a scent he had memorised by heart. A scent that, to him, means safety and comfort and _ home _. 

"Well, I always like the body wash and cologne you’re using," Taemin starts, still closing his eyes, trying to evoke a scene in his head. "Smelling it on your skin, it reminds me of the ocean at night, but not tropical ocean. More like the ocean in the northern part of England in between spring and summer where we sit around a campfire - there’s a pleasant warmth with chilly winds that brings forth the earthy smell of sea salt and burning sage. It always makes me feel peaceful."

Jongin stops moving for a second and Taemin opens his eyes, leaning his head back so he can look up at Jongin’s face, Jongin who is now looking at him with a gorgeous smile on his face and leans down to kiss his forehead. 

He is so beautiful that Taemin can feel his fingers itch with the urge to draw something, to mold something, to create something that could illustrate even a fraction of his beauty - an impossible feat he knows, but Taemin also knows that he’d never be able to rest unless he’d tried his hands at it.

"That's a beautiful way to describe a smell," Jongin says, still smiling as he pulls away and shifts his gaze back to Taemin’s hair, pushing his head down and moving his hands to take the hair clip off and flip it to the other side, repeating the process on the other side of Taemin’s head.

Taemin smiles to himself. "It does smell wonderful on you and I don't think my words could ever properly describe it."

Jongin hums in amusement, working the hair clippers on his other sides. 

"How would you describe my scent?" Taemin asks after a few moments of silence. The buzzing sound and the delicate touch of Jongin’s fingers in his hair is really soothing and it’s the most relaxed he’s been feeling for a while.

“Umm,” Jongin stays silent for a while, seemingly trying to formulate his answer. "I think it's because of your lotion, but most of the time I remember your smell as chocolate? But with spices. Like spicy dark chocolate. It makes me hungry.”

Taemin laughs at that. “Really?”

“Yeah, and of course I can also smell jasmine and citrus, and then there’s also a hint of incense and patchouli,” Jongin adds. “It reminds me of something oriental-like, I guess? Like there’s this hazy and smoky feeling to your scent -” 

And then Jongin stops for a second before he laughs quietly and continues, “Sorry for being technical instead of describing it with flowery words like you did,” he says, now working on the hair around his other ear. “But I like it. It’s a distinct scent and it suits you.”

Taemin chuckles, closing his eyes as he feels Jongin’s hand on his neck, nudging him to droop down his head. Jongin stays silent as he starts to trim the back of his head, slowly moving upwards from the bottom. Taemin thinks about what Jongin had said, that the scent from his lotion suits him, and he wonders what Jongin meant by that. 

“When you said that the scent suits me,” Taemin decides to just ask, “what do you mean by that?”

“Well,” Jongin starts, but he stops for a few seconds, seemingly thinking for a way to say it before continuing, “I can give you a long essay on why I think the fragrance itself is a unique masterpiece, but to put it short, it’s a polarizing scent. People either love it or hate it, not because it smells bad, but because not everyone can pull it off. It’s both a feminine and masculine scent but not in a unisex way, more like a combination of both.”

“So you’re saying it suits me because I have both feminine and masculine quality?”

“Not really,” Jongin muses, “More like because you don’t care about the distinction at all that you can wear the scent without it being a statement. I think the scent was meant to evoke that kind of feeling in the first place - an ambiguity, enigma, instead of a bold statement. And you wear enigma better than anyone else I’ve ever known.”

“I see,” Taemin says, thinking that Jongin’s answer is fascinating. He never really thinks of it like that, to be honest, he likes the fragrance simply because it smells unique. 

Well, Jongin is the star of the fashion major for a reason. He is very eloquent and his insights on what type of style is suitable for someone is almost like instinct, and Taemin has never been not impressed by his seemingly boundless knowledge on aesthetic expressions and its history. Jongin can talk all day about a certain style and its cultural implications, how some of them are part of social movements, and Taemin remembers how Jongin’s aspirations in fashion is first and foremost to give people a medium to express themselves freely without fear of repercussions. 

His boyfriend is really cool, isn't he. 

“And in a more personal preference, I really like how it smells on you,” Jongin adds. “Especially when I smell it on your neck. Makes me want to eat you.” 

Taemin laughs at that. “Seriously? Like eat _ eat _?”

“Of course not!” Jongin says, laughing as he turns off the hair clipper. “I mean figuratively! It’s a very sensual scent you know.”

“Really?” Taemin ponders. He tries to sniff on his wrist but he can barely smell anything, maybe because he’s been outdoor almost the whole day. “I can’t smell anything.”

He can hear Jongin’s quiet laugh behind him and he holds his breath when he can feel him coming closer from behind him. Taemin closes his eyes when Jongin’s breath lands on his neck, and when he can feel Jongin’s nose on his skin, he gasps.

“It’s always here,” Jongin murmurs, the movement of his lips against his skin is sending a different kind of shivers all over Taemin’s skin. “It’s intoxicating, really. This smell is making me crazy.”

“Should I stop using it then?” Taemin asks again, and he cannot hold back another gasp when Jongin licks a stripe on his neck and lightly bites him.

“If you like it, keep using it,” Jongin says, licking the sting left by the bite and peppering little kisses around it, and Taemin doesn’t hold back from giving him appreciative sighs, “I just need to learn better self control.”

“Maybe I don’t want your self-control,” Taemin says, leaning his head back to give Jongin more access, “maybe I want you to lose control.”

“Yeah?” Jongin is holding Taemin’s chin up as he gives more kisses to his neck, and Taemin instinctively spreads his legs apart slightly.

This feels nice, really nice, but Taemin remembers that his hair isn’t finished yet and he cannot risk Jongin losing his pace and ended up ruining his hair.

“Jongin-ah,” Taemin starts, moving his hand to pull at Jongin’s hair, “maybe finish cutting my hair first?”

“Just a second,” Jongin murmurs, and Taemin gasps again when he can feel the sting from Jongin biting and sucking on the soft skin on the juncture of his neck. That will definitely leave a mark, and it’s definitely above his usual collar line.

“Jongin-ah,” Taemin protests, pulling Jongin’s hair with more force to get him away from his neck and Jongin yelps.

“Ow, that hurts!” 

“Finish my hair first, really.” Taemin says, looking up at Jongin, who pouts, and he can see that Jongin’s cheeks are flushed and his dark brown eyes are even darker - he’s the one kissing him but he looks even more affected. He smiles and reaches out to touch at Jongin’s cheek, and then his lips, pressing his thumb to the seam. “We can continue after you finish.” 

Jongin’s pout turns into a half smile. “You were the one who said you want me to lose control.”

“I did say that,” Taemin admits, and Jongin raises his eyebrows suggestively that Taemin can’t help but pinching playfully at Jongin’s cheek to pull them out from the mood, “but not like, right now. I promise I’ll let you do anything you want after you finish my hair.”

Jongin smiles teasingly at Taemin now, grinning as he pushes Taemin’s head down and takes the clip off from Taemin’s hair. “Anything I want?”

“Yes,” Taemin closes his eyes again, trying to turn down his own building desire because even with the casual tone, hearing Jongin’s voice asking that question is doing funny things to his insides, “anything you want.”

“What if what I want is not something you want?” Jongin asks, still trying to sound casual, as he starts using the scissors to cut the top part of his hair. Taemin can feel some of the hair falls into his face so he keeps his eyes tightly closed.

And he can also feel the hesitation in Jongin’s question as well.

They’ve been dating for a few months now, and while they’ve slept together and experimented with a lot of things to know how they liked to be touched, they haven’t really explored about penetrative sex at all. Not that Taemin minds actually - he thinks he’s okay even if they decided to wait for a while, or even go without it at all. There’s plenty of other ways for them to really connect with each other, and with how everything they’ve tried so far has always been pleasurable, he doesn’t really have any reason to complain. 

“Are you worried that we might want different things when it comes to sex?” Taemin asks, and he can feel Jongin’s fingers stops moving for a second.

“I don’t know,” Jongin answers after a while, the sniping sounds from the scissor accompanying the way his fingers still working carefully on cutting Taemin’s hair. “I think it’s natural to be worried though, no?”

“Of course,” Taemin agrees, “but at the same time, don’t you think that even though we used to be incompatible in so many things we always managed to get around it in the end?”

Jongin hums in agreement, urging Taemin to continue.

“So I guess it should be the same with sex, no?”

Jongin lets out a small laugh at that. “You’re right I guess. I was just worried because I really want everything between us to work out perfectly.”

Taemin hums as he thinks about how he never really worried about sex before - it can be exceptional or it can be underwhelming, but in the end if the partner is someone he likes, it will still feel good anyway. Moreover, he believes that since it’s with Jongin, someone whom he _ actually loves _ and wants to be connected in more ways than just physical, there’s no way the sex would be disappointing.

And after all, Jongin _ looks like that_, there’s just no way Taemin wouldn’t enjoy fucking him or being fucked by him - he has a guess on how Jongin prefers to do it and he also has his own preferences, but it’s not like he will refuse anything Jongin willing to offer him.

“Well, we can go slow as we discover more about what we like, it’s not like we’re in a hurry.”

“That’s right,” Jongin says, stroking Taemin’s hair and straighten them again with his fingers, snipping at the edge of his hair, probably tidying up the uneven ends. “Sorry for saying strange things.” 

“Jongin-ah, don’t be sorry,” Taemin says, trying his best to make his voice sounds comforting, “I’m glad we’re talking about this.”

“Thank you,” Jongin says again, and Taemin can hear him putting away the scissors before he can feel Jongin’s fingers lightly stroking his hair and styling it. He closes his eyes, enjoying the last touches of his fingers and his heart almost leaps out from his throat when he can feel Jongin kissing the top of his head. 

“Okay, we’re done with your hair. You want to take a look in the mirror?”

Taemin nods and slightly shakes his head, feeling lighter after the haircut. He stands up and turns around to face Jongin, who is still sitting on the edge of the bathtub and looking up at him.

“You look more handsome now with shorter hair,” Jongin says, smiling as he takes both of Taemin’s hands in his and pulls him closer.

“So I’m not pretty anymore?” Taemin asks him teasingly, and Jongin pouts playfully at him.

“You’re still the prettiest,” Jongin says, hugging Taemin’s waist and pressing his head against Taemin’s belly, “you will never be not pretty.”

Taemin chuckles hearing that, his fingers lightly strokes at Jongin’s hair as he turns his head sideways to see his reflection in the mirror above the sink. He’s satisfied with how it looks - Jongin really is talented when it comes to styling anything with his hands.

“The hair looks good by the way,” Taemin says, “thank you for your service.”

Jongin laughs and the movements against his belly feels nice. “My pleasure, Sir. Please come visit us again.”

Taemin also laughs at that - he looks down and he doesn’t know why but seeing the top of Jongin’s head like this, with him still hugging tightly at his waist, making him feel a little emotional. Maybe because of his stupid daydream earlier, but he closes his eyes as he feels the gratitude washed over him because in this life, he gets to have Jongin like this.

He thinks about an exhibition he attended with Jongin a few weeks ago about parallel universes, and he wonders if somehow out there there’s a universe where his daydream is the reality. He smiles to himself, thinking that actually it’s not the worst thing ever - the worst thing is if there’s ever a lifetime or universe where they don’t meet each other.

“Taeminnie,” Jongin’s voice pulls him back to reality again, and Taemin blinks, realizing that Jongin is now looking up at him curiously, “Are you okay?”

“Eh? What’s wrong?” Taemin frowns, did he say anything out loud?

“Ah, it’s nothing,” Jongin says, still looking at him. “Were you daydreaming again?”

Taemin smiles sheepishly. “Ah, yes, I’m sorry. I got distracted.”

Jongin shakes his head slowly. “No, it’s okay. What were you thinking?”

“Earlier today I thought about what-ifs, and what if you never moved to our neighbourhood back in Seoul.”

“Ah, really?” Jongin tilts his head cutely. “Do you think we’d still meet?”

Taemin chuckles. “I think so? I was thinking that maybe we’d be idols instead because we used to be dancing maniacs so we’d somehow meet as fellow idols.”

“That’s interesting.” Jongin smiles kindly. “Do you think we’ll be famous?”

“Of course! We’ll be the best dancers in Korea,” Taemin says with a grin, “And we’ll have our fans fighting with each other trying to claim which of us is actually the best.”

Jongin laughs at that. “Yeah, and while our fans are fighting, we’d be too busy making out to notice because we’d be secret lovers or something like that.”

Taemin heart stops for a beat. “You think we’d still love each other?”

“Of course!” Jongin reaches out his hands to hold Taemin’s face. “At least, I know that in every universe I will always fall in love with you.”

Taemin smiles at that, putting his hands on top of Jongin’s hands. “Even when everything is against us?”

“Yes.” Jongin smiles at him with one hundred percent conviction. “So don’t you worry about our counterparts in other universes or in other lifetimes. We will always found each other and we will always be happy, I know it.”

They both know that if parallel universes do exist, then it is impossible for them to be happy in each universe because of its infinite possibilities but seeing Jongin smiles like this, still believing despite everything, he kind of wants to believe too.

“Okay,” Taemin says, smiling, “and I know I will always find a way to love you too.”

Jongin beams, and Taemin pulls him up and hugs him in a tight embrace. He then tiptoes a little bit to capture Jongin’s lips in a kiss. 

Loving Jongin is wonderful, Taemin thinks, as he closes his eyes and revels in the softness of Jongin's plump lips. Taemin always loves the sea and loving Jongin to him feels like diving into a deep ocean. Jongin to him is like an ocean - if you see it from the land or from your ship, it is already beautiful as it reflects the sunshine and the moonlight, but if you care enough to swim on it and peek below the surface, you'll see the beautiful corals and sea creatures. And once you devote yourself and practice until you can dive deeper, you'll see even more beautiful sights that most people won't be able to see. 

And being loved by Jongin is even more wonderful because it's like when he tried freediving and he'd start losing air and unable to breath as he went deeper - he choked on the sea water but this time, instead of burning his lungs, the ocean actually fills his lungs with fresh air and gives him the chance to swim and dive as deep as he wants. He cannot see things without the lights but he's not scared because the ocean itself is guiding him with its gentle currents. He can only _ feel _, and it gives him the freedom and peace he can never find in the surface. 

"I love you," Taemin whispers in between their kisses, thinking that it shouldn't be something that he said lightly but it's what he feels and he wants to make sure that Jongin _ really knows_, "I love you so much."

"I love you even more than you can imagine," Jongin’s voice cracked as he whispers back, as if it's a competition, but Taemin knows that it's also true - because Jongin _ loves _ more, _ feels _ more than anyone else, has always been so. Once, it made him feel inferior, like no matter how much he loves Jongin he might never be able to give him back the same, but Jongin had showed him that he doesn't have to be Jongin, that his most is already enough. If somehow it's not enough, Jongin’s love will be more than enough anyway to cover for everything else. 

Because if Jongin is an ocean, Taemin is nothing but a reckless freediver, and as he goes deeper into the unknown, no matter how much he prepared himself for it, he can do nothing but to rely on the mercy of the ocean. 

So Taemin takes a deep breath, pouring all his feelings into the kiss and hopes that Jongin will understand how much he's giving himself to this time, this moment, just to lose himself in his feelings for Jongin and nothing else. 

* * *

Taemin fucks like how he dances, Jongin thinks. He got full control of the way his body moves that even the subtle movements of his hips was so effective it makes Jongin almost wants to cry from how good it feels. Even as he kneels on the mattress, his hands holding up Jongin’s thighs as he pushes inside him again and again - Jongin isn’t usually loud but Taemin seems to just keep pulling out moans from the depths of his throat with the continuous friction in his insides and he wonders how on earth Taemin manages to keep up his pace and keep moving so precisely. And when he looks up at Taemin as he helplessly tries to regain his breath, Taemin just grins - he may look so calm and collected but Jongin knows from the irregular pattern of his breath and from how he’s pulsing hotly inside him that Taemin is also struggling to keep his composure. 

And to be honest, the fact that Taemin is trying his best to be composed is a massive turn-on for him - a part of him delights in the way Taemin is almost commanding him even with his gentle voice - '_can you touch yourself for me, Jongin-ah?' _ \- and the way that he’s very generous with praises - '_you're taking me so well, my pretty Jonginnie'_. Jongin doesn’t even realize it before how much he likes being praised, and it makes him slightly ashamed especially since he’s letting out all sorts of embarrassingly needy sounds.

Only Taemin could make him feel like he's literally being worshiped even though Taemin is actually the one being in control - like he's a deity and Taemin is his most loyal devout, the only one whose prayers he craves for, the only one whose pilgrimage means something to him. So Jongin has no choice but to give Taemin everything he _ prays _ for to make sure that Taemin will come and worship him again, while also delighting himself in the fact that he’s the only one that can grant Taemin’s wishes - and he’d be lying if he says it doesn’t make him feel so powerful but at the same time so vulnerable. 

Fuck, Taemin’s obsession with religious imagery is definitely rubbing on him but it’s hard not to feel that way when Taemin doesn’t even try to hide it. The way he’d mapped every inch of Jongin’s body with his lips, scattering little kisses all over him with such solemnity and reverence that Jongin feels as if he’s doing some sort of ancient rituals. The way he’s looking at Jongin’s eyes while fucking him, baring every emotions and feelings he has in his eyes as if he’s doing a confession. The way Jongin’s name falls from his lips like a litany of prayers.

He tries his best to keep his eyes open and maintain eye contact, but it’s really difficult with how the bedside lights reflected beautifully in Taemin’s dark brown eyes, turning it into a melting pot of honey and he feels like he’s almost losing himself in those breathtaking colors. He closes his eyes for only a few seconds and then he hears Taemin whispering from a distance that seemed so far away, _ too far away_, that he’s close. 

He focuses his eyes to look at Taemin’s face and not just his eyes and his breath is caught - he knows that Taemin is beautiful, he knows already that Taemin looks even more beautiful while he’s in the height of pleasure - but he’d never thought that seeing him literally out of breath, moving his hips faster as he’s trying to catch his release would be such a religious experience that even the escalating sparks of pleasure in his insides cannot distract him from appreciating what he sees. Taemin is throwing his head back, baring his neck, chest heaving rapidly and he’s closing his eyes but a repeat of Jongin’s name still slips from his lips like endless prayers. Jongin encourages him - '_let me feel you, Taemin-ah' _ \- and he feels it first in his insides when Taemin finally comes before he can even hear the breathless '_Jongin_' and relieved sighs that leaves his mouth. 

There’s a lump on his throat because everything feels like heaven if it ever exists and Jongin feels unworthy but he can’t help as the sensory overload pushes him closer to his own release - he can feel Taemin coming down from his high as he slows down his pace and wraps his small fingers around him, eyes looking fondly at Jongin and a satisfied smile still gracing his pretty lips - he looks so ethereal and Jongin feels so overwhelmed by everything that it only takes two strokes and a flick of his wrist and Jongin is gasping out Taemin’s name when he spills into his hand. Taemin leans down and kisses his lips, whispering praises to his mouth as he strokes him through his release - '_you're so wonderful, so gorgeous, Jongin-ah' - _and Jongin swears he could feel the burning white fire running through his veins.

It was definitely better than anything he’s ever experienced - Taemin stops moving and just collapses on top of Jongin, burying his face in Jongin’s neck and whispering incoherent words of '_thank you' _ and '_it was great' _ and '_you felt like heaven' _ to the rapid pulse on Jongin’s throat. Jongin is still trying to catch his breath and he can barely form a word so he can only whispers back a '_love you so much' _ and kisses Taemin’s hair, damp with sweat but still smells as nice as ever. They just lay down like that for a while - Taemin’s weight on top of him is heavy that he starts to feel the pressure on his ribs and the stickiness between their bellies starts to feel gross, but Jongin can feel that Taemin is still hard inside him and it feels really good to still be full as he’s coming down from his afterglow and he really doesn’t want to move. 

He whines in protest when after a minute Taemin pulls himself up, and Taemin just lets out a small laugh in response. Taemin lifts his thighs again as he’s slowly pulling out - Jongin can feel that he’s softening but still the friction against the still oversensitive walls in his insides is pulling out another moan from Jongin’s throat and Taemin has to soothe him, asks him to relax his muscles, and Jongin takes a deep breath as he does. He sighs when Taemin finally pulls out, leaving him feeling strangely empty but before he can dwell on it, Taemin kisses him gently on his forehead.

“Let’s clean you up first?” He offers, smiling, and Jongin finds himself smiling back and humming an agreement. Taemin then drops him a short kiss on his lips, getting off the bed, and Jongin follows him with his eyes. He watches as Taemin throws his head back and groans while trying to roll out the condom - he then ties it up and throws it to the bin in front of their bathroom, carding his hair back with his fingers as he disappears inside the bathroom. Jongin is _ very weak _ for that gesture - he literally has to physically restrains himself from just mindlessly pouncing on his boyfriend. 

He swears he’s not usually like this - it’s just that Taemin, aside from being his first crush his first love and everything, is also every single thing from his wet dream personified. Taemin might be smaller than him but he’s all lean muscles and he has strong arms and shoulders which Jongin can easily clings to and he fucks with a hundred percent passion and precision that Jongin can still feel the phantom sensation of Taemin thrusting in and out of his body. 

He would be completely happy and content regardless of how good Taemin is in bed - Jongin had fuck enough people to know what a good fuck feels like and for Taemin to actually be the best fuck he’s ever had by a laughably wide margin, it’s something he’s not even ready for.

Maybe it’s also because Taemin is the only one whose heart he truly wants, has always been the only one, that everything feels much more urgent, much more sacred, much more closer to heaven.

He closes his eyes, trying to regulate his breathing and he feels clammy all over his body. He takes a deep breath through his nose and he can smell nothing but the distinct scent of Taemin all over him even when Taemin is currently at the bathroom. He realizes that it's because it's not just his sweat all over his body but also Taemin’s, and it somehow only makes his mind clouded with another wave of lust. It's dangerous - now whenever he smells this scent on Taemin it will remind him of this floating feeling of afterglow and it really won't be good for his sanity. 

He’s so out of it that he doesn’t even realize what’s really happening around him until he feels a warm towel tapping on his stomach - and then Taemin is pushing his thighs up and gently wiping away all the sticky residue of lube and whatnot and he forgets everything aside from how good it feels to have Taemin taking care of him like this. He's so gentle and it reminds him of how Taemin, despite usually being the spoiled one between the two of them, had always treat him with the same kind of tenderness whenever Jongin needed it the most ever since they were kids. 

Like when he let Jongin cried on his chest when he first told Taemin that he's not normal because he likes men - there was not even a shred of discomfort as he hugged Jongin all through his breakdown, not even when they ended up sleeping together on his bed. He didn't say much that night, which actually made Jongin felt relieved because his silent acceptance was more than enough, and to be honest, he was not ready yet for a conversation when there's a possibility of him letting it slip that he realized his sexuality because the boy he wanted to kiss was Taemin himself. 

He also remembers how exactly a week later from that night, Taemin presented a detailed and thorough explanation complete with legit sources about various types of gender and sexuality. Jongin smiles as he remembers that Taemin, with the condescending cheekiness he used to have in middle school, had concluded the presentation with how Jongin was not strange or abnormal - it's just most people are stupid and they don't know about a lot of things but always act like they do, so when people describe themselves with things they don't understand, they label them as abnormal. It's ironic how he said that as a fourteen year old boy who'd never even have a crush on someone before and yet he's lecturing Jongin about sexuality, but even then Jongin knew that Taemin had really spent hours researching things he probably wasn't interested in simply for the sake of easing Jongin’s mind, and that had made him so grateful to have him in his life.

Taemin might not be a very affectionate friend, or boyfriend for that matter, but all these years he had proved that he's one hundred percent loyal that there's really no room left for Jongin to have even the tiniest doubt. He cannot stress it enough how it feels so wonderful to have someone he can trust with his whole life especially with how he's always restless and anxious when it comes to his life in general. 

And he thinks, if they had dated before they formed this strong bond of friendship, it might not be able to survive. Jongin would have his doubts about Taemin’s feelings because he didn't understand yet how Taemin’s way of showing his love might be different from his own. Taemin could have been overwhelmed with the burden of having to be in a relationship with someone who feels so much like Jongin. Their relationship could've been a disaster, and they could've lost their friendship in the process too. 

But this time, they've come to a point where they've already decided that they want each other to be a constant in their life - they understand each other so well that they can always find a way to resolve things even when they have different opinions on the matter. The fact that they also want each other romantically is just adding another layer to the irreplaceable bond they've forged through these years. 

His train of thought halted when he feels Taemin’s hands on his thighs again - didn't he went to dispose the towel? Had he been lost in his thoughts for that long? 

He opens his eyes and looks down to see Taemin crawling on top of his legs, his lips curls teasingly as his eyes travel below Jongin’s waist, where Jongin is, surprisingly, starting to get hard again. Jongin chuckles and shakes his head - he's not sure if he can come again in such a short period of time - but when Taemin sticks out his tongue and pulls him inside his mouth without warning, Jongin whimpers and he doesn’t even care about coming anymore as long as he can feel Taemin _ this close _ to his core. 

So he shuts his eyes and everything around him until what he can feel and hear is just his racing heartbeat and Taemin’s high pitched moan as he hits the back of his throat.

His most loyal devout indeed. 

* * *

He stares at the painting before him - it’s of a faceless boy doing a pirouette above a puddle of water in the middle of what seems like a post-apocalyptic earth. The lack of face makes the overall atmosphere of the picture eerily creepy, as if the boy is just a ghost of memory, but the setting almost symbolizes new hope - the earth has been destroyed but nature takes its course as branches of giant trees are swallowing the ruins. There’s sunlight reflected on the puddle of water and his breath hitches when he realizes that there’s a reflection of the boy on the water - and instead of a mirror of the boy, the reflection doing the pirouette is of a girl with flowing white hair. He decides that the tiny little detail is his favourite part of the painting.

“It’s amazing, don’t you think?” a voice interrupts his observation and Jongin turns his head to the side and he’s faced with Baekhyun’s smile.

“Yeah, I really like it. Who paints this?” Jongin asks, because unlike other paintings being displayed, there’s no name under this one.

“You can’t tell?” Baekhyun sends him a mock-surprised look but it soon turns into a teasing smile. “Someone will be very disappointed.”

Jongin just gives him a flat look. “If you’re going to tell me that it’s Taemin who paints this, just know that it’s not going to work.”

Baekhyun laughs at that - Jongin forgets that he has a really obnoxious laugh and it’s always come as a surprise, especially for those who just meet him. Not for Jongin though, who knows Baekhyun even before Taemin realizes that Baekhyun is his senior in his program. He’s currently finishing his MA - apparently he also works really well with Taemin that over the past two years, they’ve been assisting each other with their individual projects. 

“It’s a collaboration painting made by almost everyone. Neat, right?”

“Really?” Jongin wonders as he pays more attention to the painting. Now that Baekhyun mentioned it, he can see the subtle differences in the style, which he initially thought was intentional. 

“Yeah, they got the concept from Taemin but he didn’t participate in the final product,” Baekhyun explains to him, and Jongin nods along. He’s kind of getting Taemin’s vibe from the theme, but the compositions, colours, and overall styles doesn’t have any trace of Taemin. 

“I see,” Jongin comments and smiles, but even he can feel that his smile feels forced. His final project, the final showcase of his design collection, had went incredibly well yesterday, and he’s of course very happy about it, but he also cannot help but feeling nervous because today is supposedly when he’ll see Taemin’s final project for the first time. Taemin had been very secretive about it, not letting Jongin in with even the slightest clue about what he’s doing, and even though Jongin knows that whatever Taemin makes will be a masterpiece anyway, he couldn’t help but feeling nervous himself.

“Have you seen Taemin’s work?” Baekhyun asks, and Jongin grimaces. 

“I haven’t,” Jongin admits, and he turns to face Baekhyun fully, “hyung, I’m so nervous. I don’t even know why but he’s been very secretive about his final project that it makes me worried.”

Baekhyun blinks at him several times, seemingly trying to comprehend his words, but then he smiles.

“Jongin-ah,” Baekhyun says gently to him, putting his hand on Jongin’s shoulder, “you don’t have to be worried, really, he’s doing an amazing job as usual.”

“You’re right,” Jongin sighs, “even I feel silly for feeling this way.”

“Nah, I won’t pretend to understand your feelings but I understand being nervous as you wait for someone you admire to drop their newest work,” Baekhyun kindly comforts him. “That’s how I felt every time I wait for Jonghyun-hyung to drop new music, for example.”

Jongin smiles at that. “Yeah, when you put it like that it makes me feel better.”

“So come on, go!” Baekhyun says as he pushes him towards the direction of a tall glass door on one side of the room, “Taemin’s work is inside that room.”

Jongin smiles and nods as he walks towards the room - he can see from the sign that it’s for installation art showcase. As he opens the door, he sees that the room is divided into four parts by different partitions - and he sees that only one partition is totally closed off by a blackout curtains. He reads the label on each partition, and he can feel his heart beat faster when he finds Taemin’s name beside the partition with the closed curtains.

He opens the curtain and he’s surprised to see that it’s literally filled with people - it’s a huge partition, maybe at least 20 square meters, and in the center front of it is Taemin’s installation.

There’s an acrylic stand in front of it with the description:

> _ 낮과 밤 - Day and Night _
> 
> _ Taemin, Sculptures Installation _
> 
> _ Contemporary; Abstract Expressionism _
> 
> _ wood, metal, light projector. _

Jongin almost wants to laugh because wow, Taemin really just says fuck it to anyone who says he can’t work with sculptures - last year when he got his first installation art being exhibited at Tate, a famous art critique has praised him for being _ almost _ an all-rounder and felt necessary to shade him by saying that he’s bad at sculptures just because they thought Taemin’s only attempt at sculpture, which was from his first year as an art student, can be a testament of his skill as an artist now.

Taemin had seemed to be unbothered by it back then, but Jongin knew he’s actually boiling inside. And seeing him actually work on sculptures for his final project instead of working with painting or printmaking or even glass art which are already his area of expertise - Jongin cannot help but feel the pride swelling inside his chest.

Jongin thinks this is one of the best works Taemin ever produced.

He doesn’t really understand why it’s categorized as installation instead of just sculptures, but he doesn’t think much about it as he focuses on admiring the work instead. It was two sculptures made from discarded wood, metals and other broken tools that was arranged to resemble the shape of humans - it’s of two people standing in front of each other.

Taemin literally took scraps and trash and made it into a work of art - Jongin takes a closer look and he can see that the base of the sculptures are actually old easels and there's noticeable fragments of paint brushes, screwdrivers, hammers, chairs, violin, rusted knives - both sculptures are abstract at best but he can tell that all those random little fragments were purposefully and meticulously arranged even to the slightest slopes and angles. The positioning of the hands and feet, the tilt of the head, all looks so delicate, and even without any defining features of a face that could give it away, Jongin can feel the emotion it meant to deliver. 

It's about two people discovering the missing pieces of their souls inside each other, going 'Ah, so there you are'. 

It's so beautiful, and very uniquely Taemin and Jongin wonders if he could ever fully comprehend what is happening inside Taemin’s mind every time he creates something. Taemin’s works have always had hidden intricate meaning, but he rarely creates something so sentimental like this. Taemin usually distances himself from his creation, but this one feels personal, as if Taemin is sharing a piece of what he feels about human connection with everyone.

A part of him _ wants _ to believe that the sculptures actually represent them, and that Taemin really thinks their relationship, their bond, as something this beautiful.

"Hey, Jonginnie."

Jongin's breath hitches as he hears the voice - it's so funny because it's literally been only five hours since they kissed each other over breakfast this morning, but hearing his voice makes Jongin feel as if he's hit by an unexplainable waves of relief, as if they've been apart for so long and they finally meet each other again. 

He turns around to see Taemin standing behind him, looking so pretty in his light blue pullover, looking at Jongin with a loving smile that mirrors his own. 

"Hey, Taeminnie."

There's a click sound and the room suddenly goes pitch dark - there's gasps and chattering all around him from other people in the room, wondering what's happening, but before Jongin could wonder himself, he can feel Taemin's hands on his shoulder. 

"Turn around," Taemin whispers, lightly pushing Jongin’s shoulder so he's standing facing the sculptures again but it's pitch black and Jongin cannot see anything. 

"What's happening?" Jongin asks, and then there's a click sound again and there's a spotlight directed to the sculptures so that the only thing they can see in the room is the artwork, and its shadows on the wall behind it. 

There are surprised gasps from all around him and then the room goes deafeningly silent for a second - and Jongin literally cannot hear anything except the thundering beats of his own heart and another set of heartbeats he recognizes as Taemin’s.

Ah, so that’s why it’s called ‘Day and Night’.

The shadow presents an amazingly detailed silhouette revealing that the abstract sculptures are indeed two people. The silhouette for each sculpture are so detailed - the strands of hairs, the slopes of the noses, the angles of their jaws, the built of their bodies - it's unmistakably the silhouette of Taemin and himself. 

The light was projected in a very calculated angle that makes them stand closer with each other in the shadow, and as an element of surprise, they’re actually not just looking at each other, but Jongin is kissing Taemin’s forehead. He can feel the lump in his throat because he’s not expecting Taemin to do this at all - it almost felt out of character for him to actually show people something so intimate. And not to mention, it is the most beautiful piece of art Taemin has ever created - he still marvels at the details of the silhouette of their faces and their bodies, and even Jongin can make out the details of the outfits they're wearing - he's wearing his favourite wool coat and Taemin is wearing his oversized shearling leather jacket - 

Oh God. 

Jongin can already feel the tears starting to form on the corner of his eyes - he knows Taemin can be sentimental sometimes but to really make his final project as a student, one that will probably be remembered for the rest of his life, literally about that one moment in Whitby where they first realized that okay, so maybe they're really in love with each other - Jongin doesn’t even know what to say. 

"Do you like it?" He can feel Taemin sliding up to his side, his hand clutching at his arm as he presses his body closer to him, leaning his head on Jongin’s shoulder. 

"I don’t even know what to say to you,” Jongin says, leaning his head sideway on top of Taemin’s.

“You can start by telling me whether you like it or not,” Taemin says, almost in a whisper, and Jongin wants to do nothing but kiss him senseless, channeling the overwhelming affection he’s currently feeling. 

“Of course I like it, it’s something out of a romance drama,” Jongin answers and he can hear Taemin’s small laugh. “And from an artistic point of view, I truly think that it’s breathtaking, really. I can’t even imagine how much hard work you’ve put into this masterpiece. You should explain to me in detail the whole process later.”

“I’m glad you think so,” Taemin says, “I’m really proud of it myself.”

“So this is why you wouldn’t give me even the slightest clue of what you’re doing?”

Taemin laughs again. “Well, the impact wouldn’t be as profound if you’ve had known it beforehand.”

“I think I’d still cry nonetheless,” Jongin mutters, and then there’s another click sound and the lights come back on. He blinks as he tries to adjust his eyesight to the lights, and he turns to face Taemin, to finally look at his face.

Taemin smiles as he looks up at him, and he raises his hand to touch at Jongin’s face, using his finger to softly wipes away the tears from the corner of his eye. Jongin smiles back at him and reaches out his hand to touch the back of Taemin’s neck, and pulls him into his embrace. He puts his other hand around Taemin’s shoulder, and when he feels both of Taemin’s smaller arms circling his waist, Jongin smiles. He moves his hand to touch Taemin’s head, and gave a soft stroke to his hair while they look at each other’s eyes. Taemin’s eyes are bright with joy and happiness - it literally sparkles and Jongin think even the most beautiful piece of art in the world would never be able to replicate how beautiful Taemin really is.

“I also didn't tell you because I'm a little bit embarrassed,” Taemin says with a soft voice, closing his eyes and leaning his head against Jongin’ shoulder. “I’m not sure you’d like it if I share such an intimate memories for us with everyone like this, but I can’t think of any moment in my life that can describe the theme better than this.”

“What are you talking about,” Jongin protests, his hands still softly stroking Taemin’s hair. “If anything, I feel honoured that I am featured in one of your best creations. I’m really proud of you.”

“Thank you,” Taemin says, his voice sounds muffled and Jongin can hear him sniffling. He gently lifts Taemin’s face from his shoulder, holding his face with both of his hands. Taemin is looking up at him - his eyes are slightly glistened but he’s smiling so beautifully, not hiding how happy he must’ve been feeling right now.

“Can I kiss you?” Jongin asks in almost a whisper and Taemin’s smile turns into a shyer one.

“There’s a lot of people here,” Taemin says, softly biting his lower lip and Jongin has to restrain himself from just leaning down and bite his lips himself, “and some of them have been looking at us for a while.”

Jongin smiles wider at that. “So?” he prompts, moving one of his hands to hold at Taemin’s neck and softly caressing his cheek with the other, “can I kiss you?”

Taemin chuckles but he does close his eyes. “Yes yes, anything for you, Jonginnie.”

And so Jongin leans down and press his lips against Taemin in a kiss that lasts for three seconds. It’s chaste, but Taemin’s lips is so soft and Jongin wants to have more - especially when this close he can smell Taemin’s scent and it reminds him that they've been so busy preparing for the showcase the last time they had sex was weeks ago.

Maybe tonight they can have a proper celebratory sex for both of their successful exhibitions. Or maybe sooner than tonight.

“What if I say I really want you to fuck me right now?” he asks, half-joking half-serious, as he leans back, still pressing their foreheads together. He can see Taemin’s lips upturns in a teasing curve and he can feel a shiver running through his veins.

“Yeah? How do you want me to do you? Over the desk in one of the storage rooms?” Taemin whispers in a seductive hush. “Or maybe I can ask everyone to leave this space and I’ll fuck you here against the wall.”

“No you can’t,” a voice interrupts their exchange, and Jongin almost got a heart attack as both of them reflexively jerks away from each other. 

“And please keep your bedroom talk to yourselves, I don’t need to know that you like to be fucked against the wall or bent over a desk.”

Jongin cannot even form a proper sentence from being shocked - he had thought that it’s okay to play and flirt in public since they’re speaking in Korean and no one would understand if they happen to overhear, but he totally forgot that they have _ quite a number _of Korean friends attending the exhibition today.

Including Key, who is now staring at both of them with so much judgement in his eyes.

“Key-hyung!” Taemin exclaims - he always recover faster than Jongin when it comes to being caught doing embarrassing things but Jongin still needs a moment, “I thought you have your thesis defense today!”

“I did, and I finished earlier,” Key says, his eyes darting between the two of them. “You guys are really chaotic when you're together.”

“They’re that type of couple who become dumber when they’re together,” another voice chips in, and Jongin turns to see Krystal resting her hand on Key’s shoulder. “Yesterday they spent an entire evening after our exhibition looking for Jongin’s phone when it’s inside Taemin’s pocket the whole time.”

“In my defense I thought it was my phone,” Taemin pouts, “and it’s not my fault, it's not even vibrating that when we called his number I couldn’t feel it.” 

“And during all that commotion, where’s your phone?” Key asks with feigned interest, as if he’s not even surprised that it happened in the first place.

“Jongin was using it to call his phone,” Krystal quips, and Taemin laughs while Jongin himself winces as he’s tossed between feeling embarrassed or wants to laugh at their stupidity. 

Key proceeds to just shakes his head as if in disappointment, but Jongin can also notice the fondness in his tone as he ruffles Taemin’s hair. He gives Jongin a brief hug too, before whisking Taemin away and going on a long narration complimenting Taemin’s work and discussing the details using foreign art terms that some of them just fly over Jongin’s head. 

“Who would’ve thought that Taeminnie could be this romantic,” Krystal suddenly talks to him, and Jongin turns to face her. She’s smiling as she playfully hit his arm. “You lucky bastard.” 

Jongin laughs at that, and he reaches out his hand across her shoulder to give her a side hug. “I am lucky, really,” Jongin says, smiling, “I even cried when I saw it for the first time.” 

“Of course you did,” Krystal chuckles, circling her hand around Jongin’s waist to give him a brief squeeze. “Anyway, have you decided about the offer from Kawakubo-san?”

“Ah, yeah, I have,” Jongin answers, “I’m going to take it.”

“Really?” Krystal asks him, surprise evident in her face. “How about Taemin? Is he still going to the States?”

“Yup, he’s going to take the residency.” Jongin shifts his gaze towards Taemin, who is currently excitedly explaining something to Key. Their eyes meet for a second and Taemin smiles at him before shifting his gaze back to Key.

“So for the first time in your life, you’ll actually be separated from each other,” Krystal muses, and Jongin can hear the worry in her voice.

“Yeah, but we’ll be fine,” Jongin assures her. “Tokyo and New York is indeed far but it’s not like we won’t be calling each other everyday.”

Krystal scoffs fondly. “Of course, I can picture you being that intern who is always on the phone during lunch break.”

Jongin laughs again. “Actually, it will literally be like that since my lunch break will be the perfect time to make a call because it will be Taemin's night time.”

And the only other time they’ll probably be able to make a call on weekdays is in the morning when Taemin is up to go to his work because it will be Jongin’s night time. It sounds intimidating at first, but Taemin has always been so sure that everything will be fine as long as they’re together, so his confidence has been influencing Jongin a lot.

“You look like you’ll really be fine,” Krystal says again after a while, smiling. “You’ve changed.”

“Well, I’m still facing those ugly anxieties and insecurities from time to time,” Jongin says, smiling back at her. “I mean, even before we’re dating, he’d always gave the biggest support for me as I tried to achieve my own dreams, but still, I always felt that in the end, being an artist is a lonely fight.”

Krystal doesn’t say anything, but she’s still smiling as she gives him an encouraging squeeze to his arm - they might be arguing a lot and she likes to tease and torment him on a daily basis but she’s still one of their closest friends.

“But now that we actually share the same dream together, it’s getting easier for me to breathe,” Jongin continues. “Our dreams now are too large to bear alone and it should be intimidating, but knowing that we’re really doing this together has actually makes me look forward to our future with excitement rather than worry.”

“You sound like a different person,” Krystal grins. “I like this Jongin a lot.”

“Thank you,” Jongin ruffles her hair - he’s happy but he cannot help being a little bit embarrassed. “You can sound like a decent girl sometimes.”

“Of course I can.” Krystal swats his hand away, but her grin is still big on her pretty face. “Now I’ll have to spend my time with my favourite person before you monopolize him again.”

Jongin just laughs as he watches Krystal half-runs toward Taemin, and how she just attacks him in a surprise hug. Taemin stumbles but he does catch her - his eyes crinkling as he laughs and hugs her back tightly. He looks happy and radiant, and Jongin smiles thinking how his heart feels so full and happy too.

He then can hear Taemin’s voice calling his name, asking him to join a group selfie and he thinks, _ your happiness is my happiness_.

* * *

“Jongin-ah, what are we planning to do for our anniversary this year?” Taemin asks, spreading out the fruits and vegetables they just brought from the market. It’s not often that they get to spend their weekends on their own home, and when they do, they never miss out the farmers’ market on the Castle Terrace. 

“Ah, it’s almost April already?” Jongin asks back, putting some of the fruits and vegetables in the fridge. “We will be in New York for the Met gala meeting around that time. Aside from that, you don’t have any urgent schedules, right?”

“I don’t, I think,” Taemin answers. “My class won't start until mid-April and there’s some faculty tasks I need to finish before then but it’s not urgent. I might have to go to London soon to finalize my exhibition schedule for June with the folks at Tate though, but I think I also can push it to mid-April.” 

Jongin looks as if he’s in deep thinking, and Taemin is suddenly reminded of an upcoming meeting on a potential collaboration for their label. “Oh, but we will have to be here on the fifth of April, we’ll have a meeting with Alexa and her team on the sixth.” 

“Eh? It’ll be here? Not in London?”

“Jongin-ah, remember when Alexa said she wanted to visit our studio?” 

“Ughh I totally forgot that. Yesterday I said yes to a meeting on the seventh with our team in London, so I guess I’ll have to rearrange that.”

“Or you can handle the meeting with Alexa here, and I’ll meet with the London team?”

Jongin narrows his eyes as he seems to be thinking for a minute. “Yeah, maybe it’s better like that. You can also get to your exhibition meeting while you’re there.”

Taemin hums in agreement as he watches how Jongin closes his eyes and takes a deep breath - he looks exhausted and Taemin understands - despite him being there as the Creative Director in their fashion house, most of the responsibilities still falls on Jongin as the CEO. Taemin even still gets to teach his classes at the university and works on his exhibitions from time to time, but Jongin really devotes all his energy to the direction of their fashion house.

Taemin walks to Jongin’s side and pulls him in an embrace, and Jongin just slumps on him. “I want to go on vacation,” Jongin says, burying himself on Taemin’s shoulder and Taemin can feel his arms holding him tightly around his waist, “our last vacation was in winter.”

Taemin softly strokes his hair and gives a light kiss to the side of his head. “We can go somewhere for our anniversary - we don’t have anything urgent after the Met meeting so we can stay in the US. We can go to Sedona, or maybe Napa Valley. We can even go to Annaheim and celebrate our anniversary at Disneyland. Or maybe we can just stay for a while in our place in LA and have a nice dinner on our anniversary night. I’m sure we can ask a favour from Jonghyun-hyung to finally introduce us to the chef at Totoraku.”

Jongin hums - he doesn’t say anything for a while so Taemin just smiles and plays with his hair. Jongin has been using this new hair treatment that Junmyeon recommended, and it really makes his hair softer and it smells really nice that Taemin cannot help but want to kiss his hair all the time. It’s a habit he got from Jongin, who really likes to kiss Taemin’s hair and even after all these years, it still makes Taemin weak on the knees everytime Jongin did it.

“Taemin-ah,” Jongin suddenly speaks and Taemin can feel how his breath is tickling his neck, “do you want to get married?”

Taemin stops breathing for a second. 

His heartbeat suddenly accelerates and for the first time in a while, he really cannot find his voice. It shouldn’t be something special - he’s been living together with Jongin for more than ten years already, and they even bought this house together with the intention of spending the rest of their lives here, together. Marriage is just a formality for them - and they could’ve done that in the past few years or in the next few years and it shouldn’t really make any difference.

But hearing the word from Jongin’s mouth is different - it sends him back to Whitby, eleven years ago, when he also thought that words and formalities weren’t necessary but still Jongin’s confession had made him so happy and emotional.

“Taemin-ah?” Jongin calls his name and Taemin realizes he was lost in his own thoughts for a while. He takes a deep breath and answers, “Yes.”

“I asked you if you want to get married,” Jongin repeats what he’s said before, and Taemin chuckles because his ‘yes’ might have sounded like a question.

“And I said yes, Jonginnie,” Taemin speaks with more ease this time, “I want to get married.”

“Really?” Jongin raises his head and looks at him with literal sparkles in his eyes and Taemin lets out a little laugh because Jongin couldn’t have seriously think that Taemin would answer any other way.

“Of course, why wouldn’t I?” Taemin smiles, moving both of his hands to rest behind Jongin’s neck.

“With me?” Jongin asks again, and Taemin just rolls his eyes.

“No, with our gardener.” Taemin answers, softly knocking their foreheads together. Jongin laughs and he plants a soft kiss on Taemin’s lips.

“Ok,” Jongin says, smiling as he looks at Taemin again, “let’s get married on our anniversary?”

“Huh?” Taemin cannot stop himself from frowning at the suggestion, but seeing the pout on Jongin’s face he quickly shook his head. "I mean, is it even possible?" 

"Why not?" Jongin asks, "Same-sex marriage is legal in LA."

"That I know, but we can’t just apply for a marriage to the registrar within a week. I believe they need a one month notice or something."

“It’s only like that in the UK. In LA, you can get married anytime you want.”

“Even though we’re not US citizens?”

“Yes. Let me make sure.”

And so Jongin quickly pulls up his phone, and Taemin watches him as he does a quick google search for wedding requirements for foreigners in LA and apparently, they really can get married anytime they want as long as they have the necessary documents, and can find an officiant who is available for the date.

“That’d be easy. I’m sure Baekhyun-hyung or someone else we know in LA can help us with that,” Taemin says after Jongin explained to him about the requirements. 

_ 'Wait, why am I on board with this sudden idea?' _ Taemin thinks, and then he looks at Jongin who is still scrolling the screen of his phone with an obvious delight in his face. He thinks that actually, rather than why he's okay with the idea, it's more like there's no reason to not do it either - after all, April first is an important date for both of them that he'd never want to forget. 

And they don't need an extravagant wedding either - so there's really not much preparation needed. The only factor they need to think is just whether their family and friends could attend the wedding in a short notice, but knowing them, there should be no problem. Probably they'd be complaining but they love them too much to actually be mad about it. 

“Okay, I’ve checked all other reliable sources and it seemed like the information is all correct.” Jongin beams as he put away his phone and cradles Taemin’s face on his hands - he looks so radiant when he’s smiling so happily like this and Taemin knows he would literally give anything as long as he can always make Jongin this happy. “We can get married next week. You’re okay with it, right?”

“Am I okay with it, Jongin?” Taemin smiles teasingly. “You haven’t even properly proposed to me. These years of fame surely have changed you.”

“You want a romantic proposal?” Jongin returns the teasing and a sly smile graces his handsome face, “I can kneel before you right now, but unfortunately I don’t have a ring with me.”

“I don’t need your ring,” Taemin smiles. “But I do like seeing you kneel before me. Preferably with less clothes.”

Jongin grins and dips down to kiss him, and Taemin lets him when he hoists him up the kitchen counter. Taemin barely has time to react when Jongin’s hands move inside his shirt and in no time, he has Jongin fucking him onto the counter.

“Hey, Taemin,” Jongin calls him, his voice hoarse and raspy as he snaps his hips up harder and Taemin lets out a gasp as he squeezes his thighs tighter around Jongin’s - his hands are thrown around Jongin’s neck, clinging to him, “will you marry me?”

Taemin almost chokes on his own moan because it was so unexpected and he doesn’t think it’s even appropriate to propose to your partner while you’re giving him a good pounding but before he can even think about it properly Jongin picks up his pace and everything becomes too fast and too soon and Taemin doesn’t want it to ever end.

Jongin’s hands are firm on his back - he’s giving gentle caresses all over his skin as if trying to soothe him and Taemin closes his eyes as he tries to feel the heat radiating from his large palms and suddenly it feels like every touch is being burned into him. Usually Jongin’s fingers would be clutching at Taemin’s shoulders or hair or scratching at his back, but in the times when Jongin wants to top, his hands are always everywhere, mapping every inch of Taemin’s body as if he’s carefully ingraining everything to his memory. 

And it always drives Taemin crazy.

“Hey, Taemin, you said you want a proper proposal,” Jongin speaks again in a whisper, and Taemin can barely keep up with whatever he’s saying, “I just proposed to you and yet you didn't give me any answer.”

Before Taemin could answer, Jongin’s touch shifts into featherlight caresses as he runs his fingertips gently up and down Taemin’s back - Taemin can’t hold back a moan at the pleasant shivers that runs through his veins. And then Jongin’s mouth is hot on his neck and Taemin remembers that he hasn’t said anything.

“Try harder,” Taemin finally heaves out his answer, his fingers clutching at Jongin’s hair when he pushes particularly deep inside him, “I expected more from you.”

"Yeah?" Jongin lets out a little laugh as he leans down to kiss him again, and Taemin is kissing him back when he feels the friction from Jongin slowly pulling out from him. His hands are holding his back firmly as he holds Taemin closer and Taemin wraps his thighs tightly around Jongin’s waist, his arms still clutching at Jongin’s neck as Jongin lifts him up from the counter. His breath hitches from fear of falling - after all he’s not as skinny as he used to be, but Jongin just chuckles as he carries him a few feet away to the couch in their living room.

Jongin carefully lowers himself down on the couch, holding Taemin still. He heaves a breath once he sits down, and Taemin also slumps his head on Jongin’s shoulder, his legs still encircled around Jongin’s waist.

“It’s amazing that you can still lift me up like that,” Taemin says, his voice muffled by Jongin’s skin.

“Barely is the keyword,” Jongin chuckles breathlessly. “I need more exercise.”

“You’re fine,” Taemin smiles, adjusting his position and straightening his back, moving himself forward closer to Jongin. He lines their body together so that they’re touching at all the right parts - chest to chest, heart to heart. Taemin looks at Jongin as he shifts his waist, and he closes his eyes as he can feel how Jongin’s is pulsing hot against his own and he lets out a sigh when he can feel Jongin’s fingers bringing them together. 

The heat and proximity alone is almost enough to push him to the edge, and Taemin almost wants to just let Jongin finish them both with his warm and rough hand, but Jongin removes his hand and pulls Taemin closer again. 

They look at each other’s eyes - Jongin gives another featherlight caress across his back and Taemin does the same. As they grow older, they really like to do this, just looking at each other's eyes, synchronizing their breaths as they feel the pulse from their heart and the heat from each other’s arousal. The featherlight touches sends another wave of pleasure inside his body, and Taemin thinks this kind of intimacy is sometimes better than any rough or fast fucks they tend to have on a more regular basis. 

“Let me kiss you,” Jongin whispers, moving his lips closer to Taemin’s. Taemin hums as he opens his mouth, closing his eyes when he can feel Jongin’s tongue slips inside. He languidly moves his tongue against Taemin’s, and Taemin just revels in the way their breaths mingle, and how Jongin just knows where to lick and press to draw all the moans from the back of his throat. All the light touches and stimulation builds up and Taemin swears it’s been a while since he’s this lightheaded - and as he notice that Jongin’s hard against him, he can vividly remembers the burns and the stretch and he really wants to feel Jongin inside him again.

“Jongin-ah,” Taemin speaks in between their kisses, “say it again to me.”

“Say what?” Jongin pulls away slightly, touching their foreheads together - his voice is even raspier now and Taemin loves how it obviously shows how far gone Jongin is. “What do you want me to say?”

“Whatever it is that you want to say to me the most.”

Jongin chuckles at that - but then he stops moving and smiles, his breath stuttered and his hand is shaking as he gently touches Taemin’s cheek - his smile is so soft and pure and it should look out of place with how intense everything is around them but it doesn’t. 

“I love you,” Jongin says, still smiling, and his voice is slightly trembling. “I love your amazing mind. I love the universe in your eyes. I love that you're the most beautiful person in this planet.”

“Shut up, you're just flirting with me because you want my ass.” Taemin chuckles but he can't help smiling widely as he sees Jongin grins happily. “But I like it, so go on.”

“I love how you hates cucumbers as if they personally hurt you and everyone you love.” 

Taemin frowns at the mention of cucumbers. “They do.”

Jongin laughs at that and Taemin wonders if Jongin knows that it is Taemin’s favourite sound in the world. 

“I love how you like to be alone sometimes, but then when you're done with being alone you'd find me and attach yourself to me like a koala.”

Taemin smiles. “Not my fault that you’re a huggable fluffy bear.”

“I love the way your eyes disappears when you smile. I love how you always unconsciously cover your mouth with your hand every time you laugh out loud. I love that when you're telling a story, your hands would always move along with your words. I love the rapid blinking of your eyes everytime you get nervous.”

“I do that a lot, don't I?”

“You do.” Jongin smiles, softly kissing his forehead. “And I think it's really cute.”

Taemin lets out a little laugh and purposely blinking his eyes and only stops when he can feel both of Jongin’s hands on his face, framing it under his large hands.

“I have loved you since I was fourteen years old, scared and afraid as I came out to my parents over dinner and the way you firmly held my hand under the table had gave me all the courage I needed,” Jongin adds, his eyes got a little misty as he’s saying it and Taemin’s heart clenches at the reminder that Jongin has really been in love with him for that long. 

“I love myself when I'm with you - I love how you make me want to always be the best version of myself. I love us, I love how powerful and invincible we are when we're together.”

Jongin then reaches out to pull both of Taemin’s hands away from his shoulders, and holding it in his hands instead. He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath, and Taemin know what’s going to happen but still his heart beats so fast and when Jongin brings Taemin's hands up to his lips and plants a kiss there, he can really feel the lump on his throat. 

“So, Taemin, will you marry me?”

Jongin’s voice is firm and steady and his eyes are so beautiful as he looks hopefully at him and suddenly all the twenty years they’d known each other flashes before his eyes and Taemin still can’t believe how blessed he is to have Jongin is his life - the many kisses they shared as they danced under the moonlight, the few fights that always ended with them clinging to each other, the hundred hours of video calls they had when they had to live thousands of miles away from each other, the late night walks they have whenever Taemin stayed up late and Jongin has to pick him up from his workshop - there’s not a moment in his life that he can remember without Jongin being in it and he wants to keep it that way.

“Yes, Jongin, yes,” Taemin says, tightening his grip on Jongin’s hands. “I will marry you.”

And then Jongin cries - fat tears just flow down on his face and Taemin wants to laugh because why the hell is he crying but he can’t when he’s about to cry himself. 

“Jonginnie,” Taemin starts, pulling Jongin into his hug, “don’t cry. You’re making me cry too.”

Jongin only cries harder and this time Taemin laughs - he holds Jongin tighter and he can feel how Jongin’s tears starts to wet his chest. 

“I can’t stop crying,” Jongin whines in between his sobbing, “I want to stop but I can’t.”

“It’s okay,” Taemin smiles as he kisses the top of Jongin’s head - it’s starting to get cold because they’re still naked so Taemin reached out to their soft couch blanket and he covers them both. Jongin is still tightly clutching his waist as he cries, and Taemin moves his fingers to gently strokes Jongin’s hair. 

"Jonginnie, can I see you now?" Taemin asks. He's still softly stroking Jongin's hair, and when he can feel that Jongin is nodding and slowly releasing himself from the hug to sat up straight, his heart is beating faster. Maybe he's a bit nervous - after all they're now technically _fiancees_.

Well, only for a week though. Next week they will officially be _husbands_.

That sounds a whole lot better, Taemin thinks.

Jongin is now sitting up straight, but he's still hiding his face behind the edge of the blanket, using it to wipe out the tears, and it took him several seconds before finally showing his face to Taemin.

His eyes are red and swollen, of course, and the tip of his nose is also red because that's always happened whenever he cries. His lips are also a bit swollen, most likely from their earlier kiss, but he's smiling and his smile is so beautiful that Taemin cannot help but smile back. He reaches out his hand to comb back some stray hairs from Jongin's forehead, before stopping at his cheek.

"I love you so much," Taemin whispers, feeling how his heart beats way faster than it normally is. Taemin looks at him, feeling increasingly more nervous as the second passes but also fascinated by the way Jongin's expression changes so subtly but Taemin can still read him all the same, somehow giving Taemin a sense of comfort he never knew he needed as much. “I probably could not express it as well as you just did, but I hope you always know that I love you as much.”

"I don't know if you're just saying it to stop me from crying," Jongin says, his eyes shining and to Taemin, it sounds a lot like _ 'I know, I’ve always known it' _.

But of course, Taemin pretends to be hurt and he purposefully mustering up the best dejected expression he can imagine, which in return makes Jongin laugh and looks at him with such a soft and loving gaze that Taemin really wants to cry because he really doesn't deserve him.

"I'm supposed to be the sappy one between the two of us, you know," Jongin says, circling his hands around Taemin's neck.

"I think your lameness is starting to rub on me. But it's okay, my charisma is enough to make it up for both of us."

"You're always saying the strangest things. Sometimes I don't know how to respond to it."

"Just love me more."

Jongin then laughs - his eyes crinkling and he's so _ so _ beautiful.

“I will. I will keep loving you more and more until my heart stops beating.”

Taemin smiles. “That’s so cheesy,” he comments, holding Jongin’s face in his hands. 

“I know, right?” Jongin says, also reaches out to hold Taemin’s face, “But that’s also the truth so what should I do?” 

Taemin shrugs and then they took a few minutes to just look into each other’s eyes, and somehow, he feels so overwhelmed by his happiness that he feels like it bubbles up inside him, and apparently Jongin feels the same because in a heartbeat, they just laugh together, leaning their foreheads against each other. It takes a minute before they stops and smiles at each other, and when Jongin presses his lips on him again, Taemin closes his eyes and he lets himself drown.

Together they’re going a long_ long _way, and their love is here to stay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Almost 14k for this chapter… I think I need help.
> 
> and that’s it! i’m sorry that it took longer than i expected and it ended up being so cheesy - i don’t think i ever write anything this cheesy ever in my whole life and while it’s sort of cathartic now i’m itching to write something angsty to make up for the sugar in my brain.
> 
> and thank you so much for all your comments and kudos, really! it really motivates me to finish the story and it made this writing process a whole lot more exciting. it's been soo fun and i’ll try to contribute more to the taekai tag in the future :3
> 
> credits:  
\- chapter title is another gershwin song "love is here to stay" and i feel that if i could make a playlist for this series it would mostly be gershwin's songs sung by ella fitzgerald  
\- i described the smell of their perfumes based on real perfumes - for taemin it's tom ford's black orchid (which taemin actually used for a while - remember the perfume he sprayed on his pillows during that one superm reality show? he also did mention the same perfume in an interview from a few years back) and for jongin it's jo malone's sea salt and wood sage (i have no idea about Jongin's preferred scent - i vaguely remember him saying he didn't like to wear perfume/cologne so i just chose a scent that i think would suit him in this story hahah)  
\- it's not exactly the same, but the idea of taemin's final project is inspired by the works of magnificent british contemporary artists tim noble and sue webster particularly the one here http://www.timnobleandsuewebster.com/wild_mood_swings_2009-10.html


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